Archive for the tag 'lyrics'

The Candidates of Oz

NS May 4th, 2010

My daughter has been really into The Wizard of Oz lately. I’ve been into the UK election. So I thought, why not combine the two? And so I present:

The Candidates of Oz

Cast

Dorothy – Me

The Wizard – British Voters

The Tin Man – David Cameron

The Scarecrow – Gordon Brown

The Lion – Nick Clegg

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First up, the hollow-chested one :

When a man’s a plummy Tory
There’s more there to the story
And Cameron plays the part
He shouldn’t be assumin’
That we think he’s at all human
He doesn’t have a heart
He’d be tough, he’d be “fair”
And slash the budget bare
For the poor and art
He’d ban Islamic veil
And be the darling of the Mail
He doesn’t have a heart
Picture Dave, a modern slave
To the toffs and richest men
Equality for you and me
Stuffed in the nearest bin
Just imagine the commotion
That he’d set into motion
And tear us all apart
I’d rather leave here in a coffin
Than be governed by that boffin
Long live bleeding hearts

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Next, the one whose head is stuffed with straw:

Brown had countless hours
To convince us of his power
But it just felt all too tame
While his frown was busy twitching
We were busy bitching
If he only had a brain

When we all have lost our jobs
And are fed up with the yobs
We’re keen to share the pain
What was Labour thinking
When they thought we had no inkling
If they only had a brain

Oh, I can tell you why
They’ll do poorly at the polls
I could list a hundred things
You’ve heard before
But it’s clear, I do fear
That we’ll rake Brown o’er the coals

It may not have been too late
But then came Bigotgate
In which he showed disdain
I think Brown’s a decent guy
But there’s been a lot of lies
Oh, he doesn’t have a brain

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And finally, the one who needs some courage:

Yeah, it’s sad, believe me Mister
When you’re not a known A-lister
And no one takes your coat
Oh, I could be the PM
With my mantra ‘carpe diem’
If I only had the votes

I’m afraid there’s no denyin’
The other two are lyin’
Which none of you deserve
I’m as brave as a lion
You won’t see me cryin’
Your interests I would serve

I’d be different, this I know
Because the other parties blow
On the public I would dote
I could be your anti-Tory
Give the Lib-Dems all the glory
If I only had the votes

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