I haven’t done one of these in awhile so thought it was time to roll out another.

Being an expat is:

Being an expat is not:

Motherhood is:

• Full of surprises, pain and more joy than one could ever imagine
• Often difficult
• Sometimes effortless
• Sleepless nights
• Using your sleeve to dry eyes and sometimes noses
• Looking at your child and wondering how anything could ever be so beautiful
• Heartache
• Humility
• Feeling your soul catch in your throat when harm befalls him or her
• Sitting glued to one spot, despite numb limbs and boredom, to allow a sick child to sleep
• Making a fool of yourself in public to make your child laugh, and not caring what anyone thinks
• Recognising that you’ll have to let go one day — and being simulataneously petrified and exhilirated at the thought
• Being responsible for your own and your child’s actions
• A partnership with your community
• Not being able to imagine a world without your children in it

Motherhood is not:

• Martyrdom
• Unfeminist
• Expecting others to bow to you or your children
• Sanity-preserving
• A dictatorship
• Easy
• The end of your fashion sense, sex life, friendships or career if you don’t want it to be
• Something to be sneered at
• Merely ‘breeding’
• A status symbol
• Always putting your child’s needs first — nor your own
• Instilling humiliation, fear or hate in your child
• A competition

As promised, a second entry in my Is/Is Not series. The first was on Feminism. This one is on Breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is:

• Natural
• Beautiful
• Best for the baby
• A bonding experience
• Often difficult (in the beginning)
• Sometimes painful (in the beginning)
• More portable and convenient than bottles and formula
• Free
• Empowering
• Biologically awe-inspiring
• Environmentally friendly
• A public health issue that deserves more attention and respect from the medical community
• 90% more likely to happen if you have unwavering support from your partner and/or family
• One of the most rewarding things I have ever done

Breastfeeding is not:

• Weird
• Gross
• Silly
• Sexual
• Embarrassing
• Something that has to be done in private, like it’s a dirty little secret
• Similar in any way, shape or form to someone urinating, vomiting, defecating or masturbating in public
• Only for hippies and sanctimonious know-it-alls
• Overrated — it really is that important to a baby’s health
• Automatically critical of formula feeding
• Only for stay-at-home moms — plenty of working women breastfeed successfully
• A debate that should divide women

Would you add anything to either list? (Please keep it respectful and intelligent)

As part of a new series, I will be listing what certain ideals, events, places, people or things are and aren’t. Today’s topic is Feminism (inspired by my lovely hubby and a discussion I had today with some other women).

Feminism is:

• believing that gender inequality still exists
• being outraged at the pay gap (17% in the UK)
• standing up to being judged based on attractiveness to the opposite sex
• knowing how it feels to be groped, leered at or intimidated by a complete stranger in public
• ever wishing that men could understand, for even one day, what it’s like to be a woman
• being called a feminazi, man-hater, lesbian, radical or bitch for speaking your mind or taking control of your own life
• having freedom of choice in all aspects of life
• being a mother or child free but not judging others’ lifestyles
• not participating in the ‘mommy wars’
• refusing to back down when asked to leave for breastfeeding in public
• standing up for the rights of those not able or willing to do it themselves
• choosing a partner who believes you are just as smart/powerful/capable as he is
• choosing education over ignorance
• loving yourself enough to identify as one

Feminism is not:

• having hairy legs
• hating men
• thinking women are better than men
• being incapable of having a sense of humour
• aggression
• only possible if working outside of the home — SAHMs can be feminists too
• devaluing domestic work
• being a ‘slut’
• never baking cookies or cleaning
• flogging your male partner into submission to prove your feminist credentials

What would you add to either of these lists?