Archive for the 'Banal Breakdown' Category

Gobbledygook

NS March 26th, 2010

If you’re looking at my site and notice it’s looking rather strange and garbled, it’s because I managed to delete the tiniest bit of code from my sidebar while attempting to get rid of a widget and messed up the whole thing. I’ve had to uninstall and reinstall my theme and then need to clean up the mess, which the fantastic Aaron is helping me with. But I’ve also got a sicky baby (NB woke up with a stomach bug this morning) and a full day ahead of me so it may continue to look funkafied for awhile longer.

Check back later for a shouty, curse-filled post in which I rant about the Pope, Barack Obama, Gordon Brown and various other powerful leaders with whom I am angry. If you’re the head of a large and powerful institution I would stay away from Noble Savage today. Because when I am done with you, you will cry like a little girl with PMS chopping 9,000 onions. Or so I’d like to believe.

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These are the rules

NS March 2nd, 2010

The first rule of writer’s block is — don’t talk about writer’s block. The second rule of writer’s block is don’t talk about writer’s block on your blog and then plead with your readers to hang tight while you scavenge your brain for nuggets of wisdom and entertaining anecdotes. The third rule of writer’s block is…well, you know the rest.

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New acronyms, same people

NS February 26th, 2010

Just a quickie (no, not that kind — get your minds out of the gutter!) to say that from now on, the entity formerly known as TNC (The Noble Child) will henceforth be referred to as NG (Noble Girl) and the child formerly known as TNB (The Noble Baby) will be NB (Noble Boy). TNH (The Noble Husband) will just be NH. The reasons for this are a) TNB is not a baby anymore *sniff*, b) I’ve always been just Noble Savage, not THE Noble Savage (except for on Twitter because, annoyingly, the name was already taken) so I reckon we should all be the same and c) it’s my blog and I can bloody well do what I want to (she says while stamping her foot in a rebellious manner).

So yeah, that was all I wanted to say. Do you think this is possibly my worst blog post ever? I’d say it’s a contender, along with this pathetic, two-word post during NaBloPoMo ’07.

Born in the wrong decade

NS February 15th, 2010

I realised today, as I was driving along singing my heart out to a series of songs on Magic radio, all from 1973, that (musically at least) I was born in the wrong decade. I mean, how can you beat this playlist?

  • ‘Love Train’ by The O’Jays
  • ‘Killing Me Softly’ by Roberta Flack
  • ‘Stuck in the Middle with You’ by Stealer’s Wheel
  • ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’ by Elton John
  • ‘I Will Always Love You’ by Dolly Parton
  • ‘Tequila Sunrise’ by The Eagles
  • ‘Yesterday Once More’ by The Carpenters
  • ‘Superstition’ by Stevie Wonder
  • ‘You’re So Vain’ by Carly Simon
  • ‘Let’s Get It On’ by Marvin Gaye

When ‘Superstition’ came on, I actually yelped with excitement and turned the radio up really loudly (no kids in the car — hurrah!). I could barely contain myself. That, my friends, is MUSIC. I’m telling you, I was meant to be alive and in my youth during the 60s and 70s. I would’ve been in bell-bottomed, peace-signed, guitar-strumming, funk-loving heaven.

That said, I think I would’ve also been quite happy in the Roaring Twenties as well. After going to see The Princess and the Frog yesterday with The Noble Child and hearing all of that lovely New Orleans-style jazz music, I could totally picture myself as a gin-swilling, fun-loving, Charleston-dancing, boa-wearing flapper.

If you could’ve been a young adult in any decade in the 20th century, which would it have been?

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The OED has got nothin’ on me

NS November 6th, 2009

Apologies in advance to all of you who are on Blogger and/or who use word verification, but I’m not a big fan of having to squint at the little box that pops up after I type out a comment on your site and then try to decipher a bunch of meaningless numbers and letters that are upside down, smashed together or embedded within a busy design that gives me a headache just looking at it. In fact, if I had my way I’d rid the blogosphere of word verification entirely. Fortunately for me, others agree and this blogger even made a nifty button to express my feelings on the matter:

kill word verification2

However, word verification does serve one purpose: it sometimes entertains me with its random selection of letters that, together, almost sound like words but aren’t. I’ve taken to noting down ones of late that sound like they could really be found in the dictionary (though perhaps only on Mars or Tolkien’s Middle Earth) and given them definitions. Behold:

Gammi – I imagine this to be an Italian dessert of gelato and jam on an alcohol-soaked biscuit base. That, or a horrendously smelly running shoe. I can’t decide which

Ungive – Well, duh. It’s the opposite of give

Roviati – A group of paparazzi who have been hounded out of their homes by anti-celeb-chasers and are living in the woods down by the river, keeping their skills sharp by taking photos of squirrels and birds as they dart amongst the undergrowth

Outti – The official word for that nub of flesh that sticks out of a pregnant woman’s belly where her navel used to be. Traditionally called an ‘outie’ but with the spelling altered here to make it feel more special and unique, much like parents-to-be do with baby names

Prounch – A pocket (literally) of skin on the abdomen, grown from harvested stem cells which provides a place to keep your valuables when out on the pull without the need to carry a pesky handbag

Butchopa – A mythical place where women are not sexualised for others’ pleasure or profit and aren’t required to be Beauty 2k Compliant to feel good about themselves

Oxisorr – A skin disorder that results from compulsive cleansing and continual application of harsh acne medication

How about you, seen any good ‘words’ lately?

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