The Candidates of Oz

NS May 4th, 2010

My daughter has been really into The Wizard of Oz lately. I’ve been into the UK election. So I thought, why not combine the two? And so I present:

The Candidates of Oz


Dorothy – Me

The Wizard – British Voters

The Tin Man – David Cameron

The Scarecrow – Gordon Brown

The Lion – Nick Clegg


First up, the hollow-chested one :

When a man’s a plummy Tory
There’s more there to the story
And Cameron plays the part
He shouldn’t be assumin’
That we think he’s at all human
He doesn’t have a heart
He’d be tough, he’d be “fair”
And slash the budget bare
For the poor and art
He’d ban Islamic veil
And be the darling of the Mail
He doesn’t have a heart
Picture Dave, a modern slave
To the toffs and richest men
Equality for you and me
Stuffed in the nearest bin
Just imagine the commotion
That he’d set into motion
And tear us all apart
I’d rather leave here in a coffin
Than be governed by that boffin
Long live bleeding hearts


Next, the one whose head is stuffed with straw:

Brown had countless hours
To convince us of his power
But it just felt all too tame
While his frown was busy twitching
We were busy bitching
If he only had a brain

When we all have lost our jobs
And are fed up with the yobs
We’re keen to share the pain
What was Labour thinking
When they thought we had no inkling
If they only had a brain

Oh, I can tell you why
They’ll do poorly at the polls
I could list a hundred things
You’ve heard before
But it’s clear, I do fear
That we’ll rake Brown o’er the coals

It may not have been too late
But then came Bigotgate
In which he showed disdain
I think Brown’s a decent guy
But there’s been a lot of lies
Oh, he doesn’t have a brain


And finally, the one who needs some courage:

Yeah, it’s sad, believe me Mister
When you’re not a known A-lister
And no one takes your coat
Oh, I could be the PM
With my mantra ‘carpe diem’
If I only had the votes

I’m afraid there’s no denyin’
The other two are lyin’
Which none of you deserve
I’m as brave as a lion
You won’t see me cryin’
Your interests I would serve

I’d be different, this I know
Because the other parties blow
On the public I would dote
I could be your anti-Tory
Give the Lib-Dems all the glory
If I only had the votes


Photo credit

17 Responses to “The Candidates of Oz”

  1. ‘Stumbled’ upon your blog via a lunchtime stroll thru blogland, and so glad I did!
    This is very good, hats off to you.

    LCM x
    London City Mum´s last blog ..Time to cut to the chase and get down to the hard slog My ComLuv Profile

    NS Reply:

    @London City Mum, Thanks! Just visited your blog as well, looks great. I’d really like to see you actually put some of your colleagues in the naughty corner. :D

  2. Gappy says:

    What a pity they’re all just a bunch of munchkins. You can’t really tell those munchkins apart you know…
    Gappy´s last blog .. My ComLuv Profile

    NS Reply:

    @Gappy, Ha! Too right. Wouldn’t it be great if we could get them to do a rendition of ‘The Lollipop Guild’?

  3. Potty Mummy says:

    Bravo, bravo, encore! (Throws flowers, whistles, and generally makes it difficult for Dorothy to leave the stage…)
    Potty Mummy´s last blog ..Question; My ComLuv Profile

    NS Reply:

    @Potty Mummy, What, no knickers? ;)

  4. Very good!

    Perhaps the colour of the Yellow Brick Road has more significance than we realise?
    nappyvalleygirl´s last blog ..It’s my party and I’ll rant if I want to…. My ComLuv Profile

    NS Reply:

    @nappyvalleygirl, At this point, I truly don’t know. It really could do any which way. It’s so exciting!

  5. Iota says:

    You are so completely brilliant.

    I like NVG’s comment. And maybe there’s a message in ‘somewhere over the rainbow, BLUE birds fly…”
    Iota´s last blog ..Olde English Tea My ComLuv Profile

    NS Reply:

    @Iota, And don’t forget the RED ruby slippers…

  6. Gary says:

    I love it. Good job!

    NS Reply:

    @Gary, Thanks, G!

  7. Sandrine says:

    Love it! What about the Wicked Witch of the West? And Toto!
    Sandrine´s last blog ..around the world My ComLuv Profile

  8. Liz says:

    fab comparison :)
    Liz´s last blog ..Mini Book Review: Skullduggery Pleasant My ComLuv Profile

  9. Fab, well said. I really don’t know how this election is going to go either. I’m so frustrated that I just managed to get naturalized and then didn’t get my voting registration form in on time. A crime really. To think I once wrote a speech on the importance of voting. Then again, with all this talk of a hung Parliamnent perhaps I’ll have a chance to vote anyway.

    As you are such a fan of Dave, check out this You Tube video:
    Tanya (Bump2Basics)´s last blog ..It’s a Small World after all…. My ComLuv Profile

  10. Read this the other day and forgot to comment. Sorry.
    Loved it :D And then had that bloody tune as an earworm ALL DAY! And now it’s happened again now that I’m back commenting :-p

  11. [...] think we all know how I feel about [...]