You know you’re the mother of small children when…
NS January 5th, 2010
- You are so used to not being able to shut the bathroom door that you forget to close it when you have other (adult) people over
- You regularly find Calpol crusted into your hair
- You go up to comfort your teething baby on New Year’s Eve and find a way to balance your cocktail glass on the cot
- You recoil from the clock in horror as you crawl into bed at 5am on New Year’s Day, knowing you have a full day of CBeebies, being jumped on and wanting to die a slow, miserable death ahead of you
- You think nothing of wiping your children’s snot on your jeans if a tissue isn’t handy
- You walk into your bathroom to find your 3-year-old’s bottom waving in the air, demanding to be wiped, and a tub full of the lovely bath products your 1-year-old just dumped inside it with exuberance
- You have been given the evil eye for ‘letting your children run wild’ but only seconds later been given the evil eye by someone else for being too harsh in reprimanding them
- You have to use an abacus to figure out when you last had sex (or at least not just a quickie at nap time)
- The thought of falling pregnant again fills you with a fear not unlike that of Sigourney Weaver’s character in Alien when she comes face-to-face with a slimy, monstrous being who wants to make her life miserable and/or eat her innards
- You’re so disillusioned with keeping your already-filthy carpet clean that you don’t bother cleaning up spills anymore
- Antics of The Noble Child , Funny Ha-Ha , Parenting 101 , That's Life , The Noble Baby
- Comments(17)
Pretty much sums it up in one. Why do we bother hey? I am glad I am not the only one who thinks that motherhood is such hard work.
Let’s hope the children appreciate all the effort we put in.
At least us females keep the population going, it’s what we are primed to do.
I have mixed feelings about parenting.
Problem now a days is we seem to juggle and do it all on our own. For me, the issolation was the worst bit, even though I have always worked part-time and have a husband who has been a A1 dad.
And when you are sick yourself it is horrible.
I am glad I have no toddlers now and like I hear, as they get older, the problems just become different.
I have loved lots of it too, don’t get me wrong and I would do it all over again- I think:-)
I am back to blogging too after a long absence.
Keep writing and Happy New Year. I enjoyed this empathetic post.
So very spot on! Welcome back, we’ve missed you x
So right, except:
* feel the dread of knowing you’re going to have an early start with cbeebies kicks in for me whilst I’m pouring my blooming drink;
* I gracefully accept the proffered bogey from the two year old and absent mindedly wonder where to put it.
Hope you had a restful break, what with the various gadget failures and so on
Absolutely!! I smiled in acknowledgment at each one
Especially the second last – egads, I would lose my mind. Thankful husband had a vasectomy last year!! And I *still* feel scared, lol.
I’d add that having white stains on the shoulders of your black work suits is something you stop noticing. And when someone points it out, you say “Oh, that would be the yogurt.” Because everyone shows up for meetings with yogurt on their shoulders, right?
How about: you loudly “SHHHH!” anyone who interrupts you, with such speed and vehemence that they are taken aback, because you’ve grown so used to doing it all day with your children.
You hit the nail on the head. The bathroomand door and being pregnant again spoke to me. I have the flu right now and the thought of nine more months throwing up is too much to bear.
Impressed you stayed up until five am!
And Dad who writes, my whole concept of ” outfit clean enough for work” has completely changed since I had kids. milk, vomit, snot, diarrhea, you name it, Ive gone to work with it on my clothing at some point. Plus I still occasionally pee my pants when I sneeze.
All very familiar, apart from the 5am one – I couldnt face it!!
It’s all so true i’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. Possibly a bit of both simultaneously.
@geekymummy – I’m feel so guilty that I’m relieved that I don’t have to deal with the last bit. I did once walk through a long American mall with a smiling baby in a Baby Bjorn on my chest and a white t-shirt and blue jeans covered in diarrhea to the extent that I was leaving a trail behind me. Finally some kind soul pointed out that I should visit a baby changer…
Ha ha, spot on! With the bogeys, is it just me, or does anyone else get a huge sense of satisfaction when they manage to hoik a big one out of their child’s nose?
I can check about 80% of you, so it applies to fathers of young children as well!
@onethoughtfulwoman – Mixed feelings about parenting…you’ve got that one right!
@Tara – Thanks! I’m glad to be back too.
@Alex – Bingo, on both counts. Please tell me I’m not the only one who has put the bogey somewhere other than a tissue?
@A Crafty Mom – I think I’d be the same. When I decide I’m definitely done having children I want us BOTH to get ‘fixed’. I need a backup to my backup.
@Dad Who Writes – Yes, yes, yes!! The mysterious white shoulder stains are omnipresent.
@Strawberry – You DIDN’T!! Did you? I hope it was a family member or an understanding friend!
@Capitol Mom – I was always lucky with the sickness, only had it sporadically throughout each. My bugbear was always back pain. Ouch!
@geekymummy – I blame a certain friend of mine who is a bad influence and lured me in with pitchers of cocktails. Otherwise I’d have been asleep by 2.
@The Mad House – Thankfully it was my husband’s turn to get up early on New Year’s Day and he kindly let me sleep until 11am so it wasn’t too bad.
@Heather – Me too, darlin’.
@Dad Who Writes – That sounds like my worst nightmare, albeit a funny story to tell after the fact.
@Platespinner – Yeah, there is something satisfying about getting a huge one out of there, I’ll admit. The shame…
@A Free Man – You’re right, of course. I should have titled it ‘parent’ instead of ‘mother’. My apologies to the fathers out there who go through the same!
Totally with you on the cocktail thing – my special skill is being able to breastfeed whilst cooking dinner & enjoying a glass of red wine !
My kids are all grown now—they’re 29, 30, 32 and 35—and even my only grandchild is 11, so it’s been a long time since I’ve had to deal with the things you and all the other commenters wrote about. I’m not going to say that I miss the hard parts, but I wish I’d paid more attention to the good parts. I tried to keep a journal in those days, but it didn’t always happen. I’ll have to dig those out one of these days and walk down memory lane!
Anyway, thanks for the great post and the reminders! It does get better, especially once they’re all grown. Yes, there are always still problems, but at least I can do what I want to most of the time and don’t feel like I always have extra appendages hanging off of me (that would be my children!).
These are so true. So glad I am not the only one who leaves the loo door open when there are guests!