The OED has got nothin’ on me

NS November 6th, 2009

Apologies in advance to all of you who are on Blogger and/or who use word verification, but I’m not a big fan of having to squint at the little box that pops up after I type out a comment on your site and then try to decipher a bunch of meaningless numbers and letters that are upside down, smashed together or embedded within a busy design that gives me a headache just looking at it. In fact, if I had my way I’d rid the blogosphere of word verification entirely. Fortunately for me, others agree and this blogger even made a nifty button to express my feelings on the matter:

kill word verification2

However, word verification does serve one purpose: it sometimes entertains me with its random selection of letters that, together, almost sound like words but aren’t. I’ve taken to noting down ones of late that sound like they could really be found in the dictionary (though perhaps only on Mars or Tolkien’s Middle Earth) and given them definitions. Behold:

Gammi – I imagine this to be an Italian dessert of gelato and jam on an alcohol-soaked biscuit base. That, or a horrendously smelly running shoe. I can’t decide which

Ungive – Well, duh. It’s the opposite of give

Roviati – A group of paparazzi who have been hounded out of their homes by anti-celeb-chasers and are living in the woods down by the river, keeping their skills sharp by taking photos of squirrels and birds as they dart amongst the undergrowth

Outti – The official word for that nub of flesh that sticks out of a pregnant woman’s belly where her navel used to be. Traditionally called an ‘outie’ but with the spelling altered here to make it feel more special and unique, much like parents-to-be do with baby names

Prounch – A pocket (literally) of skin on the abdomen, grown from harvested stem cells which provides a place to keep your valuables when out on the pull without the need to carry a pesky handbag

Butchopa – A mythical place where women are not sexualised for others’ pleasure or profit and aren’t required to be Beauty 2k Compliant to feel good about themselves

Oxisorr – A skin disorder that results from compulsive cleansing and continual application of harsh acne medication

How about you, seen any good ‘words’ lately?

10 Responses to “The OED has got nothin’ on me”

  1. Jill says:

    These are so funny! I’m dyin’ over here.

    I’m going to start writing down some of the weird ones.

  2. Irene says:

    Your definitions are really good. I especially like your definition for Outti, for some reason that makes me giggle really bad.

  3. andrea says:

    love the definitions! i’m sure from now on when i see one of those squiggly security words i’ll be making up definitions to them. as far as them being annoying – i found in my case they are a necessary evil to preventing spam on my blog. sorry!

  4. Iota says:

    I just published a comment on a post with a romantic theme, and the verification was VENIS, which seemed appropriate.

    Because it’s nearly the name of the Roman goddess of love, Venus. Why? What else were you thinking?

    You’d enjoy the Word Imp blog. Have you ever visited?

  5. the bad aunt says:

    Irony: I commented on another blog, before reading yours, and the security word was “evaneese” and I pondered it a minute, wondering whether that was true for you that day. It was the first time I had really paid attention to one. Then I opened your blog, and you had your great post on the subject. Good job!

  6. Gary says:

    i hate them too. they’re the worst on ticketmaster!

  7. Apparently, according to my techie know about this sort of thing husband, they are actually using word verification to help digitise old manuscripts. So if 10 people all reckon that the letters are ghyukp then they probably are. The do the first couple of letters to confirm that you are a real person and the last couple are to work out what something scanned into a computer actually says.

    Seems a bit far fetched to me, but he is a software developer and usually knows what he is talking about.

  8. I got ‘divine’ on one the other day, which really cheered me up.
    I like your idea, it’s like Daily Candy’s Fictionary: Words That Don’t Exist But Should (a good stocking filler and worth looking out for). I don’t understand Brit in Bosnia’s explanation, eek. Or should that be ‘texpha – dyslexia with instructions, lists and technical instruction’.

  9. A Free Man says:

    I moderate because I don’t like word verification either. But I really don’t want ads for pharmaceuticals in my comments and I would have something like 40 a day if I didn’t do something/

  10. loving your definitions. I actually thought that i was very “blonde” and that they were cleaver words that i had not heard of!