Make me cringe, punk!
NS October 26th, 2009
I taught The Noble Child to say “Make my day, punk!” in a joke video that I sent to my sister.
Because that made us giggle, I also taught her to say “Talk to the hand.”
Next, “Rock on, dude!”
But you know the dangers of teaching your children to say funny things purely for your entertainment at home that you wouldn’t necessarily like them to spout it in public, right? And you see where this is going? Yes, I’m sure you do.
So yes, today in the grocery store my 3-year-old daughter looked at a man in the frozen food aisle and said, as he leaned in near us to get a bag of petit pois, “Make my day, punk!” He nearly dropped the tiny, tender peas and I nearly choked on my own saliva as I alternated between laughing and stammering. I muttered a strangled “Sorry ’bout that” and turned to flee.
I ushered her quickly to the vast array of juices the next aisle over where, before I could do anything, she ran up to an elderly women putting orange juice in her trolley and gleefully shouted “Rock on, dude!” The old lady gasped and nearly jumped right out of her blue-rinsed, permanently-waved hair, looking utterly confused at this command. Fervent apologies were made as I clung to the hood of TNC’s jacket and she scrambled to escape my grip, undoubtedly so she could run off and tell someone to talk to her hand.
It might be awhile before we go to Waitrose again.
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It probably brightened up their day…
Oh no! How could you? Mind you, you’ll be able to live off the proceeds of those videos when she’s old enough to work…
Most embarrassing thing dudelet ever came out with was addressed to a friend of ours earlier this year. “S., it’s such a shame you don’t have a man. Because you need a man to have babies.” Considering she was a) broody as hell and b) just coming out of a particularly gruesome dumping episode, she took it amazingly well and still talks to us. But we hid under the table with embarrassment for the rest of the visit – still can’t figure out where on earth it came from.
Ha! Very funny!
You live and learn I guess.
that’s hilarious!! (and i love the videos!)
i have a similarly funny story that happened with my sister and niece at church on sunday: lilly started acting up a bit so my sister attempted to be discrete and firmly squeezed her knee to get her to settle down. the church goes completely quiet for prayer and in her loud, 3 year old voice she says, “YOU NEED TO SAY SORRY MOM FOR PINCHING MY KNEE!!”
do you laugh or cringe?!
ha ha!
Oh dear. How could you not foresee that one?
I blame the parents
She is her mother’s child!!! Her videos have so much emphasis!
why is it always in Waitrose??? Iona plays up horrendously when we are in there….and there are always several upper middle class elderly or middle aged types set in place, seeming to seeth dissaproval.
if i was at the grocery store and a kid ran over to me and said any of these things i would laugh my ass off. then again, i’m the inappropriate auntie that the videos were recorded for in the first place, so maybe i’m not the best judge here! hilarious.
oh, and i still want you to teach her to say “tom brady sleeps with the fishes!” (sorry jen!)
oh dear, i feel your embarrasment. Snaffles phrases include “peace out brother”, “do one” and “have a word with yourself”
I would have laughed, but then I’m like the aunt and like a bit of amusement by a little kid. You may want to watch what you say around her from now on, though.
Waitrose? Well that was your mistake. What do you expect when you shop amongst the ‘rah-rah’ crowd?
@Iota – That’s what my Dad said. I hope so, anyway!
@Dad Who Writes – Okay, that really IS a cringeworthy moment. Eek!
@Insomniac Mummy – I suppose I *should* learn but I’ll probably carry on doing it. It’s just too much fun!
@adam – Oh, how funny! I’m sure it made most people in church laugh.
@Worcester Park – Of course you do, you don’t have children.
@the bad aunt – Yes, well. I blame my mother then. Ha!
@April – Oh dear, yours too? I must say though, they didn’t seem to be seething disapproval. In fact, I’ve had more horrible experiences with disapproving looks and comments in Sainsbury’s than in Waitrose.
@andrea – Being an auntie has softened you, obviously. And, I’m working on the Tom Brady thing.
@Snafflesmummy – “Have a word with yourself” — that is hilarious!
@Irene – I’m afraid it’s a lost cause. My mouth works faster than my brain.
@A Free Man – What, did you expect me to mingle with the commoners at Morrisons or Co-op?!
Waitrose is the nearest shop between TNC’s nursery school and my house so it’s my defacto shop when I’m not driving. Can’t save the environment AND the pocketbook at the same time.