Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go
NS October 12th, 2009
I know I’ve made some noises before about wanting to get back to paid work but I’ve never been more than merely vague and ‘one-of-these-days’ about it. Something has really lit a fire under my ass, though, and I am no longer just considering it, I’m officially Looking For A Job. This also means I am looking for childcare, trying to get my head wrapped around all of the different options (and their associated costs) and what that means for our finances.
There are a few career options that I’m weighing up and none of them are easy. The one that has the greatest potential for career fulfillment (freelance writing) is also the riskiest, of course, while the safer options have the greatest chance of either being too unworkable (I have virtually no contacts or portfolio, aside from online stuff), paying too little, being too stressful or leaving me languishing at the bottom of the food chain, writing obits for my local paper with people ten years younger than me who would probably earn more than me anyhow. On the other hand, an office job would give me good experience and a steady income. That’s nothing to be sneezed at either, I suppose.
Then there’s the whole issue of how my return to paid employment will affect my children, my marriage and our entire household. I can already feel little pangs of guilt and sadness when I even think of leaving my precious babies with a stranger (or strangers) 2-5 days a week and dread the associated hardships that working motherhood will inevitably bring.
But. BUT.
I’m also so unbelievably excited and feel an almost overwhelming sense of happiness when I consider doing something for me, for my career and my fulfillment, for a change. I’ve been looking after everyone else for almost four years — it’s time I strap on my big-girl boots and walk, run or kick my way into the next chapter of life, I think.
It won’t be easy, that I know. There are sure to be trials, tears and tribulations to come. But I know with every fibre of my being that I am ready and that I can do this and that my children will be better off for having a happier, more self-confident mother.
Watch out world, here I come!
Any suggestions, tips, advice, etc… are most welcome, particularly about breaking into either print or freelance journalism, advocacy work for women’s organisations and/or securing childcare. Short of that, a book deal with a six-figure advance would be looked upon favourably, too. 
- Career , Miscellaneous Missives
- Comments(15)
Good for you, you’ll do really well with that kind of attitude. I hope you find something you love doing and some good childcare, whatever route you decide x
Well, I fully expect that you are doing this: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions/pundit-contest/index.html
If not, WHY NOT?
I have some ideas, and will shoot them to you in an email.
Loves!
A
I know exactly how you feel… that mix of dread at leaving them but pure excitement at having something just for yourself. I too am going in the same direction but am going back to school full time to pursue a whole new career. It’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time, but like you, I feel it’s finally time for that next chapter and its so exciting! And while I struggle constantly with the thought of being away so much more, I know that having a happier, more self confident mother is worth just as much. Staying at home full time just wasn’t working for us anymore.
As for advice- I’d say find excellent childcare that you and your children love and don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’ve been doing all the childcare and household duties for years, simply because I was the one available to do it. We’re really having to rework things now and I have more childcare help. I’m only working part time and going to school part time right now- if I go to full time I don’t know how everything will get done, but I’m confident we’ll figure it out!
Congratulations on this decision, it’s a big step!!!
i have confidence that you will figure it all out. how exciting! good luck with everything!!
I’ve been in the same situation and I think the key is to first find the best childcare, that way you’re not worrying about your babies when you’re at work. I firmly believe my girls did really well at their lovely nursery, and they loved it there so much they still go back to visit even now and they’re 10 and 13 now!
Good luck with it all.
I know just how you feel.
But doing something for yourself, after years of doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE else for the last few years – is your right. Yes we’re moms, we worry about everything, that’s why it’s okay to do something for yourself for a change.
I’ve just started doing that myself, and it’s amazing the initial resistance you face, but when things start to pan out, your happier demeanour etc really start to pay off in all areas of life.
Good luck!
well, you won’t be leaving your children with strangers. i leave my child with a woman i selected, interviewed, spent time with, gradually eased my child into being left with. i leave my child with a woman who is kind, patient, loving, who gets down on the floor to play with her, & sends me pictures home of her day. our childminder is great. in fact, we found her through the local council list, so i recommend that as a place to start!
searching for childcare makes me furious about how little people are talking about women, work, childcare, childraising. i heard rosie boycott on women’s hour earlier this year saying that the women’s lib should have been about childcare, it was the crucial thing that they didn’t mention. so true!
Maybe before you take the big leap, you might try a transistion period first. Select a daycare and start taking the kids a couple times a week at a structured arrival/pickup time. (this will also give you the opportunity to research the job market and have some time to yourself, before you go to work and again have no time for yourself). Once you all seem ok with that, then continue this while you are job hunting. I don’t know if they have “temporary” employment agencies over there, but it might be a good way to ease back in to the work environment and hone your skills while dealing with daycare issues in the early stages. Don’t forget to arrange alternate daycare options, because here, many daycares will not let you bring a child in if they are sick or running a fever, and many parents can’t stay home with their own sick kids due to attendance policies at work. Wish you lots of luck. I know you can do it!
I understand your desire to get back to work. Good luck with your search. Just don’t rush into it and take just anything because it is a lot of work to work with small children. You don’t want to create more stress than you have now. Take your time and find the right fit for you. I wish I could be there. I would give up my job in a heartbeat to be Nanny to my adorable grandchildren.
My recommendation: Jim and Lyn do a year in London, 2010!
Very best of luck! You write wonderfully so I hope you can do it professionally.
My bit of advice (as a working mum) is to prepare your husband for the great impact your working will (or should) have on him. Many working mums fall into the trap of still doing everything child or home related while holding down a full time job. Get him involved in choosing a daycare, this very important decision should be made by both parents, figure out who will stay home with the kids when they are sick and how you’ll make that decision on a day when you both have a can’t miss meeting, who takes time off to take the kids to the doctors and dentists, decide now who will drop off and pick up the children, who will pack lunches, remember to bring diapers and spare clothes to school, buy the Christmas presents for the daycare teachers, etc etc, because oftentimes all of this falls to Mum, and it can be the breaking of us.
Best of luck with the job search!
Just a thing about child care. There’s no way that it isn’t stressful at first. For parents and kids. But these days, my older son loves it. Absolutely loves it. Now that my partner is on maternity leave, he only goes two days a week and I think he’s disappointed sometimes when he doesn’t. So, if you’ve not gone through it before, just muscle through the early weeks with the tears and the drama and ultimately the kids will love it.
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