Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go
NS October 12th, 2009
I know I’ve made some noises before about wanting to get back to paid work but I’ve never been more than merely vague and ‘one-of-these-days’ about it. Something has really lit a fire under my ass, though, and I am no longer just considering it, I’m officially Looking For A Job. This also means I am looking for childcare, trying to get my head wrapped around all of the different options (and their associated costs) and what that means for our finances.
There are a few career options that I’m weighing up and none of them are easy. The one that has the greatest potential for career fulfillment (freelance writing) is also the riskiest, of course, while the safer options have the greatest chance of either being too unworkable (I have virtually no contacts or portfolio, aside from online stuff), paying too little, being too stressful or leaving me languishing at the bottom of the food chain, writing obits for my local paper with people ten years younger than me who would probably earn more than me anyhow. On the other hand, an office job would give me good experience and a steady income. That’s nothing to be sneezed at either, I suppose.
Then there’s the whole issue of how my return to paid employment will affect my children, my marriage and our entire household. I can already feel little pangs of guilt and sadness when I even think of leaving my precious babies with a stranger (or strangers) 2-5 days a week and dread the associated hardships that working motherhood will inevitably bring.
But. BUT.
I’m also so unbelievably excited and feel an almost overwhelming sense of happiness when I consider doing something for me, for my career and my fulfillment, for a change. I’ve been looking after everyone else for almost four years — it’s time I strap on my big-girl boots and walk, run or kick my way into the next chapter of life, I think.
It won’t be easy, that I know. There are sure to be trials, tears and tribulations to come. But I know with every fibre of my being that I am ready and that I can do this and that my children will be better off for having a happier, more self-confident mother.
Watch out world, here I come!
Any suggestions, tips, advice, etc… are most welcome, particularly about breaking into either print or freelance journalism, advocacy work for women’s organisations and/or securing childcare. Short of that, a book deal with a six-figure advance would be looked upon favourably, too. 
