Here, at the apex of the mountain
NS September 18th, 2009
One year ago today, at this moment — the exact moment captured in this photograph — I possessed more presence of body, clarity of mind and connectedness with humanity than I ever had before. Giving birth to my son at home with no interventions or drugs was, hands down, the most amazing, mind-blowing, peaceful, empowering yet extraodinarily ordinary thing I have ever done. Not just because I felt proud of my body for doing what it was designed to do, or because I felt special or superior to anyone else, but because I’d learned so much about myself, and the power of women, in the process. I wrote:
Believing in birth and making it happen has given me a renewed sense of faith in myself, something I think was desperately needed. I now know that I have the power within me to do things I previously thought impossible or too painful. I can face seemingly insurmountable obstacles and with enough determination, organisation and knowledge, clear them easily. This was more than just my child’s birth – it was my rebirth. I’m not a religious person and I don’t even consider myself spiritual, but I do know that I’ve never felt more alive, more connected to humanity or more powerful, yet so humble. If that’s not a sacred experience, I don’t know what is.
Since that event, my committment to fighting for a feminism that includes mothers in a way that doesn’t marginalise, patronise or demonise our experiences with pregnancy, childbirth and parenting has grown — especially those that do not mesh with modern-day expectations or norms. My feminism is not just about making sure women have the right to NOT have babies (though that is profoundly important); it’s about giving them the right to choose HOW and WHERE and WHY they have those babies, if that’s the path they’ve chosen. Fighting tooth and nail for reproductive rights and talking about the importance of complete bodily autonomy should apply to birthing women as well. Telling a mother-to-be that she is endangering her baby by trusting her body and that she’d better submit control of her birth to a medical institution or professional that usually assumes the worst of our bodies, makes us believe we are fragile and ignorant and Other…well, it’s not very feminist at all, really.
I’m not talking specifically about home birth either, but ALL birth, everywhere. A woman who’d rather be in hospital, or who has no choice but to be there, shouldn’t feel she has to prostrate herself before an endless array of bureaucratic policies just to get quality medical care and make her own health decisions. We each deserve a birth that isn’t solely about the end result, but about how we experience it: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially.
Complete knowledge. Complete care. Complete autonomy. Complete respect.
Nothing else will do.
Happy birth day, The Noble Baby. To both of us.
