Ageism, attractiveness and the public eye
NS September 10th, 2009
If you’re a young, conventionally attractive woman and are successful in your chosen career, you will likely be aware that some people doubt your abilities and speculate behind your back how you got to the top so quickly. Was she chosen for her looks, or her plentiful bosom, they wonder? Did she sleep with that boss who fancied her, securing a promotion that most of us have to wait another 10 years for? Was she really the best person for the job or just a way to satisfy not only a politically correct quota but also a hiring supervisor who enjoys a bit of eye candy?
If you’re an older, successful woman (regardless of how conventionally attractive you once were or weren’t) and the wrinkles can no longer be hidden with a spot of makeup and careful hair placement, you will likely be aware that your success (particularly if you work in a male-dominated field or one that puts you in the public eye) has come at what most consider a “price.” You may have had to compromise your more ‘feminine’ qualities and take on traits more commonly associated with men — assertiveness, directness and ambition. To get to the top and stay there, you had to work hard, often harder than your male counterparts, and even then were likely taken only half as seriously, at least for the first couple decades.
However, now that you’ve aged and are in the latter part of your career, you are increasingly aware that more of the younger employees and the men in upper management are showing less respect and more ambivalence toward you, if not outright disregard. They seem uncomfortable with what you remind them of on a daily basis and that is this: beauty fades. And we all know that a woman whose beauty is fading, or already gone, or was never there in the first place, is emotionally fragile. Most are so crushed by the experience of growing old that they become shells of their former selves. If they don’t participate in the desperate race against the clock that our culture actively encourages then there must be something a little wrong with (or at least eccentric) about them…or so the women’s magazines would lead us to believe.
According to these rags, those who don’t join in the age race become bitter, twisted and ruthless in their attempt to stand firm against being toppled. They are jealous of younger, better looking women, hurt that the young lads don’t fancy them anymore and incandescent with rage that men seem to garner more respect and prestige with age, not less. In short, these career women just can’t let go and admit that they’re finished, or — at least — that the world is finished with them.
This is ageism.
Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton knows it. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi knows it. Deputy Leader of the Labour Party Harriet Harman knows it. Women in Hollywood know it. In fact, most women who have ever held positions of power or prestige know it. Even most men and corporations openly acknowledge it, though they don’t seem that fussed about changing it.
But still, some are deluded or confused about the reasons why. Anne Robinson, the famously straight-talking and poker-faced host of The Weakest Link, told the Times recently that young women have an advantage in the media and implies that it’s unfair to older women when they get bumped off their tv shows and radio slots in favour of more nubile and fertile females. She decries ageism and cites other women in television who have reached “a certain age” (usually the late 50s to mid 60s) and been summarily dismissed as suddenly irrelevant.
While she’s absolutely spot on about the ageism towards older women, which is often rooted in long-held prejudices about the different stages of female sexuality and how it relates to ability, I think she misses the point about the advantages younger women have. Yes, the young and the beautiful are often the ones replacing the older, more established, but Robinson seems to posit that this is largely because the younger women are purposely exploiting the advantage. To make it seem as if these women singlehandedly and deviously knocked their older colleagues off the top in their bloodthirsty attempt to get ahead, or that they enjoy having this advantage, is perhaps disingenuous. I don’t know many women, regardless of how gorgeous they are considered to be, who would be happy to know that their looks played a large part in their job success. Women who want to succeed usually want to succeed on their own merit and to suggest otherwise is one of the ways in which misogynists perpetuate the myth that women are inherently lazy and reliant on their beauty and sexuality for favours from helpless men who are stupified and mesmerised in their presence.
In reality, younger and more attractive women have an advantage only insofar as they will be hired at a greater rate than their male and less young/attractive female counterparts in the earlier years. However, as these New Young Things get older, they will undoubtedly face the same ageism. That’s because beauty is so intricately linked with youthfulness that we seem unable to separate the two anymore. You know that quote “Truth is beauty and beauty, truth?” Well, I think a more apt musing would replace Truth with Youth. Sad, but true.
And really, being beautiful may be an asset in getting your foot in the door or if you have no other redeeming qualities, but for women who want to succeed and have what it takes, beauty can actually be a hindrance, a burden. Does anyone look at the statuesque blonde with enormous, pert breasts and skin that looks like it was scrubbed by angels and think “This is a lady who can get things done?” Or are they too busy speculating about who she must’ve shagged or how many Old Girls she stepped on to have gotten into the boardroom or in front of that teleprompter in the first place?
There is no doubt in most feminists’ minds that girls and women are sent confusing and conflicting messages about attractiveness and power, and how one affects the other. This doesn’t just start when we enter the professional world, either.
In recent years, feminism for the masses has come to mean Girl Power! and with that a propensity to celebrate anything that girls and women do as potentially empowering, even if its cultural context is based on deeply sexist acts or ideas. So long as it was a “choice” made by a woman, we’re all supposed to embrace that choice — false pretenses, horrible consequences and all.
So when, for example, Miley Cyrus goes from “wholesome” to “whore” at an awards show and the commentators start flipping out about how yet another girl has been oversexualised and exploited and is setting a bad example for The Children, they have no one to blame but themselves.
If you don’t want to see teen pop stars emulating strippers on stage for prepubescent audiences, don’t buy into the idea that women’s worth is intricately linked to their age and appearance and perpetuate it by speculating on who deserves what based on either criteria. Don’t let your daughter see you frowning in the mirror with a jar of wrinkle cream in one hand and a copy of Glamour in the other. Don’t let your son overhear you telling your partner that you can’t wait ’til your old nag of a woman boss packs it up and retires already so you don’t have to hear her shrill barking or see her turkey’s neck, or that the new account manager, the one who all the men are drooling over, must have more between her legs than her ears.
Ageism is often about beauty, but it’s always ugly.
