I think you are right, that as women we have our own part in giving in to “victimhood” of the lessor role in a marriage, and then we feel resentful for having done it. Maybe we are even feeling some self-loathing in the mix. So, for me, the key is to not wallow in angst and blame others for putting me in a situation that I don’t wish to be in — I make the situation work for me. Which, in my case, means I am not the little houseslave and I am able to have my own outside interests beyond my husband and child. But my family is extremely important to me also. I am no superwoman by any means. I know my limitations and work hard to not overextend myself (this is after a pretty spectacular crash and burn on the other end of trying to be a superhero). Balance is important for just about every aspect of life, and I think my husband and son benefit greatly by me being a whole person as well. Not only because I am happy and easier to be around, but they also have the freedom to do the same for themselves.

Thank you for sharing such a thought-provoking post.

I have worked as a part time maid for almost 5 years now.
I love my work. I really love doing house chores and cooking.
I adore when I see a neat place.
I have been paid normally. Not too much but I think it fair.
What I cannot understand is why is this idea of seing cleaning work as dirty or lowering or so.
I understand that in class divided societies there are upper class ladies that never clean. I find their lives really annoying. Attending teas and gossiping.
But America’s is supposed to be not a class divided society or not too much, anyway.
So the work of a maid should be appreciated as any other work. And those who, like me, love this kind of work should let live our lives peacefully.
I guess.

Rosa Maria Sanchez