The myth of mummy blogging and why it’s bad for us
NS June 12th, 2009
Disclaimer: I know that this post will inadvertently get the backs up of some of my readers because it will come across as criticising something they are doing, or thinking of doing. For that, I apologise. My intention is not to offend and I will try to be as tactful as possible in explaining my thoughts on this sensitive subject. If you disagree that’s fine, let me know why in comments. I want this to be a discussion, not a one-sided rant.
I am not a mummy blogger. Not in the ‘traditional’ sense of the word anyway. I am a mother who blogs, certainly, but I don’t write solely about my children (in fact, they make up a relatively small percentage of my subject matter), nor do I try to monetize my site by putting ads up, writing product reviews and doing giveaways in the hopes of boosting my profile and bringing in a bit of revenue. Mummy blogging has become synonymous with both of these, even if it’s a bit of a myth that blogging mothers do either to the exclusion of other topics.
Let me be clear: I absolutely support a woman’s right to make some money from her blog and can completely understand the impulse to do so. Who doesn’t want to get paid for writing? The problem, though, is that we’re not. Companies who want to shower us with free gifts or, on the odd occasion, a trip, are not paying us for our content. They don’t give a toss how well we write or about the important topics we discuss or the communities we build. Well, they do, but only when it comes to reviews of their products or services. A free sample is not ‘getting paid.’ Would you take a job in which you wouldn’t receive any money but only the promise of a free massage, hoover or weekend at Butlins every now and again? Would you find it abhorrent if you opened the newspaper, read a great article, and then at the bottom a plea from the journalist to buy some of the stuff in the ads alongside, because otherwise she won’t get paid? What is it about mummy blogging that is so desirable to companies but at the same time so hard to make a proper income from?
Susanna at A Modern Mother put her finger on what’s been bothering me about this phenomenon and it is this: mothers don’t get paid for the work they do if it relates, in any way, to mothering. She says:
What really annoys me is that this perpetuates the stereotype that a mother’s job does not hold value. So you blog in your spare time. That’s nice. I’m executing a £5 million campaign for a new product and would like you to plaster my brand all over your blog and write about it. For free. OK?
This is precisely how it feels to me. Like a patronising pat on the head, as if blogging was just a housewife’s “hobby” and that she will be only too happy and flattered to hawk products for huge companies, without pay. She already does so much work for free (keeping house and raising children) that surely one more charitable act won’t hurt, right? Doing a review is essentially a strategically placed press release, written and distributed via social networking and new media, with only a free sample of the product as payment. People who do this for a living, in an office and on staff for these companies, make a comfortable salary doing exactly the same thing, and they usually get to keep the samples, too. So of course companies are falling over themselves to get to mummy bloggers — it’s practically free labour!
Now, I can understand that to many mummy bloggers, their blog *is* their hobby and they figure “Hey, if I can get a few free dvds, an all-expenses paid trip for my kids or some lovely new body scrub, why not? It’s not hurting anyone and I work hard, I shouldn’t feel bad about that.” And I agree, they shouldn’t feel bad. All I ask if that we exercise caution, prudence and a healthy dose of skepticism when performing a cost-benefit analysis of whether doing a review is actually worth our precious time. As I commented on Susanna’s post: “Is the amount of time it takes to send the email confirming your interest, receiving said product, using it and writing up the review really worth the value of the free sample? Does it enhance your life, blog or career prospects in some significant way? If not, don’t do it!”
Also, and this will be the unpopular bit of my post, I just get a sort of icky feeling when I see a bunch of reviews or product mentions on someone’s otherwise lovely and entertaining blog. It just turns me off. I wish it didn’t, but it does. The odd one here or there, fair enough. I like learning about great books, movies, products or places to go like anyone else. But when it becomes blog fodder for an entire week, or when they are ocurring on a regular basis, it does make me wonder if the blogger’s content is being affected by what they’re hawking. I’m sure most reviewers have given this considered thought and try their utmost to ensure that doesn’t happen but I can’t help but think that it must seep into the subconscious of their writing in some small way. And some giveaways leave me with an even worse taste in my mouth. Requiring others to write about the product in question in order to enter the draw is essentially snowballing the free PR and is yet another way in which our time and words are devalued. That combined with ads lurking around every corner of the site is enough to make me click away before I’ve even read the post. It doesn’t mean they will lose me as a reader or that I think less of them personally, only that I don’t want to be part of the consumerism they are promoting.
I started reading blogs because they were honest and real and in no way indebted to advertisers, like traditional media outlets too often are. The propensity now towards writing about what will draw the most readers and therefore increasing profile and revenue saddens me because it takes some of the lovely rose-coloured sheen off of blogging for me. Search engine optimization and keyword-planting reduces the power blogging had to feel like real voices from the real people, about the real issues. I’m not so cynical as to think that every review has been done with consumerist, self-promoting intentions. I know that these are people just doing the best they can with what they have and trying to get a bit of recognition for what they do.
Besides, I knew that it would happen eventually. I knew the companies wouldn’t be able to leave blogging alone in its safe little haven of social awareness and person-to-person networking and would turn it into a business opportunity. I just didn’t think that when it happened we would be doing it for free.
- Bloggy love , Career , I Bitch Therefore I Am , Miscellaneous Missives
- Comments(14)
I have been blogging for about 5 years, and as I am just about to become a new mum, I am interested in the whole ‘Mummy Blogging’ phenomenon. I have just agreed to review my first book on my blog, mainly because I am 35 weeks pregnant, love reading and am happy to give my opinion. I do not really imagine that I will want to do this all the time, unless the product is relevant to my situation, and does not impact on my time with my new baby.
I have never added adverts to my blog and at the moment do not think that I will. It always made me feel uneasy, and I write because I want to, because I like having a support network and advice from people who are in the same situation as me and I do not feel that it was fair to throw adverts at these people. I write to make new friends, to share my experiences…not to sell stuff for other people and make money for me.
Interesting post, it has really made me think about why I blog and what I want from blogging, so thank you.
Interesting post. I have to admit to feeling quite excited, the first time I got asked to review something, but the feeling dulls somewhat after a while, especially when you start thinking ‘Oh, and I have to write a review of X. When am I going to find the time to do that?’
I do read reviews, if they’re relevant to me and I tend to place more weight on a review by a fellow parent blogger, who I know reasonably well, than than a review in a paper or magazine, and certainly than an advertisement. So, I’m happy to write them, if they seem relevant. I most enjoy reviewing books, and would love to be in the position of reviewing some fiction, though I don’t think the fiction publishers have hit the parent bloggers yet.
The latest review I wrote was nothing to do with any PR, and just a book that I got a lot of out of and so wanted to share. I’m actually planning to get in touch with the publishers of some of the books mentioned in the comments, to see if any of them would be interested in providing some give-aways, or review copies. It will be interesting to see if there’s any interest, as I think picking something you want to review and then asking for PR samples/review copies might be a bit more ethical.
I know bloggers who are big enough to be able to pick and choose what they want to review, which would be a nice position, because then you really could (surely?) be unbiased.
All that said, I do still get a bit of a thrill when I get a PR email, especially when they’ve gone to the trouble of reading some of my blog to find out what sort of thing I write about. And I enjoy having a laugh at the completely ridiculous press releases.
I’m going to write my blog whatever, but it’s nice to get something out of it now and then, like a free lunch or some more books to add to our overflowing bookshelves.
I suppose I am a mummy blogger, since I write almost solely about my child, but I hate that phrase! I also totally agree with you. I’ve never been asked to review anything, but if it were to happen, I can’t imagine saying yes. I also really dislike loads of ads on personal blogs…it just feels off to me.
I hear what you’re saying: nothing against the mommy bloggers, but everything against companies that have tapped into social networking and are getting women to post reviews without being paid for them. Damn it! We need a revolution! Pay the mothers!
I consciously avoid blogs with ads, and blogs that focus on reviewing products. I’m just not interested – what I am interested in is fresh, exciting, honest writing. And I think it’s still to be found out there.
Reviews TOTALLY turn me off blogs. I am just not interested in how well that shampoo washed your hair or if that pushchair is easy to use. I just don’t care. There are so many blogs out there that I do not need to waste my time reading advertising.
BUT I can understand that there is a huge temptation to take offers from PR people, both because it is flattering to be approached, and because its nice to get free things.
I don’t mind being called a mummy blogger. I never blogged before I was a mummy, so I have no claim to be anything but a mummy blogger. I started the blog on the suggestion of my partner, who was having to listen to rants about parenting issues every evening when he got home from work. It’s nice to feel like my views are getting out there, even if the readership is fairly miniscule. I sort of wish that blogging could lead to something (like a job), but I know it doesn’t and for me its nothing but an (occasionally out of control) hobby. Ho hum.
@Dancinfairy and @Tasha – Thank you both for commenting and sharing your thoughts.
Just to be clear, I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong in doing a review, especially if it is either something you’ve already bought and used or is very pertinent to your life, job, ideals, etc.. Even if it isn’t, I still don’t begrudge anyone doing reviews of products they’ve been approached about. It’s when the cost (time spent promoting it without pay) outweighs any benefit, real or perceived, that I worry we may be in an exploitative situation.
Doing an occasional book review or telling your blog buddies about the great new sling you got is not the sort of thing I’m talking about. If it was I’d be a hypocrite! I reviewed a book on my site a few months back and will be doing another soon. They are both relevant to my life (one about being an expat, the other about feminism) so it wasn’t something I questioned, really. I hope to be an author one day too and would like to get feedback, so giving others my views on their books seems like a fair trade. If someone sent me a book on physics theories or fashion, two topics I have no interest in, and asked me to review it, I’d have to say a big fat NO though! It wouldn’t be worth my time because it wouldn’t enhance my life and so the cost wouldn’t be worth the benefits, which would be all on their side.
All I’m asking is that we exercise caution when considering these requests, so that consumerism doesn’t hinder our writing and the wonderful community that mummy blogging has built. I value both too much to see them swallowed up by press releases and marketing.
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That was a really interesting post.
I’m a mummy blogger who writes about things other then my child, although I do include her in my posts.
But I agree about the whole ‘making money’ from it. I will not put ads on my blog and any reviews will be because I thought the film/book/restaurant was particularly brilliant. I’m all about sharing. I started my blog because my thoughts needed to get out. I’ve always written ‘stuff’ and this was just an easier way to do it.
I have only recently found your blog, but I’m enjoying your style and content of writing and look forward to reading more.
Well said.
I started blogging to keep my family in the UK up to date with our life, but have found now that it is more a release for me, an outlet for the thoughts that stream through my head! I only have a few readers, up until recently mainly friends, and have not been asked to review anything. Often I start to write about a book I love, or a store or a pair of shoes, and then wonder if people will start to think I was paid for it!
I linked to an award for you over at mine.
A blogger is… a blogger! I am a writer and one of my pet hates is the lazy habit of using descriptions of the writer – mommy blogger, woman poet – as if that somehow tells you about the style or type of writing – mommy bloggers don’t just blog about being a mother and women poets don’t just write about being a woman so don’t categorise them as such.
I don’t have a problem with blogs that contain reviews where the reviews are on topic (I write book reviews but as my blog’s about writing, that’s relevant and I have a disclaimer that while I’ll accept free books I do so on the basis I may give a negative review if I don’t like the book). But I do agree with the note of caution you’re sounding. Reviewing something you want to share your thoughts on is great. But don’t accept free stuff and review it because it’s nice to get free stuff. Seriously consider if a review fits on your blog and don’t feel obliged to provide a nice or positive review just because you got sent a sample copy.
Companies are always sending samples to journalists or freelance writers who get paid for the review as well as the free sample. Sending products to bloggers is better from a company’s viewpoint because it’s an easier way of targeting a specific audience and word of mouth from a trusted blogger is worth more than a neutral review in a popular magazine. Don’t get used.
Honest and refreshingly straight talking as usual.
Great to have met you today.
xx MM
I have to say I didn’t realise there was such a thing as a ‘Mummy Blogger’ until I became one…Haven’t done a review on my blog yet and probably won’t because, yes, the reviews are boring and yes, I am turned off another blog when I see reveiews (and I don’t like adverts either). However, if someone I normally like and respect does a review then I’m interested to hear what they have to say. And if their review is written in an interesting and amusing way, then it might even be enjoyable to read! Having said all that…I now shoot myself in the foot by saying I am going to Butlins in August – and can’t wait!!! Good to meet you today too x
I totally agree on all counts.
Having said that, I do “reviews,” but I hope I’m very, very clear to everyone who reads my site that they’re simply my opinions; totally unsolicited in any way. I don’t follow any blog (that I know of, anyway) that does sponsored reviews. It definitely turns me off. However, if some other mother has a product or a time-saver she’s learned, I would definitely want to know about it. I think the information should flow between us with honestly and openness. I’m always interested in to learn about something new.
And, like you, if some woman wants to make some cash or get some freebies, that’s her deal, but I’m not going to buy into it. I should disclose, though, that for a few months I had a Google ad up, but it was more out of confusion than anything else… I was so new to the blogging community that I thought I had to do that to seem legitimate. Then I got a clue and took it down because it’s legitimate to me no matter how many people read my words or who’s advertising on there.