The Trouble With (Working) Women
NS May 19th, 2009
If you didn’t catch it last night on BBC2 (or you’re not in the UK), I highly recommend watching the first in a series for a new documentary called The Trouble With Working Women. Presented by Sophie Raworth and Justin Rowlatt, the first program was entitled “Why can’t a woman succeed like a man?” and explored the issues preventing women from really breaking through the glass ceiling in the professional realm. So many important issues were touched upon, including: maternity leave, sexist attitudes in the workplace, unequal pay, nature vs nuture with regards to gender differences, the effects of gender conditioning in children, how hormones affect the way male and female brains perform different tasks, the public’s attitudes towards women in the workforce, the ‘bottom line’ for businesses vs women’s desire for more flexible working hours and family-friendly practices, working mothers’ guilt, the research into what effects childcare has on children’s brains, and how second wave feminism didn’t really foresee the new set of challenges that mothers would face once they broke into the workplace.
I’ll get into my critique of what they did say in a moment, but first I’d like to address the area I felt was sorely lacking in the documentary. As usual, the fathers’ roles in all of this was hardly mentioned. Yes, there were a couple brief allusions to paternity leave needing to be increased and of men being given the option of more flexible working hours like some women have been, but it was framed in more of a “Ooh, look at the women with their long maternity leaves and four day weeks. It’s practically a vacation! See, men are really the ones getting a raw deal!” kind of frivolous way instead of realising that men’s lack of involvement in the discussion in any meaningful way is a huge factor in working women’s problems. There was no in-depth analysis of how men being willing and able to participate in family life and taking on more domestic responsibilities is extremely crucial to women achieving equality. The fact that there was no mention of the social phenomenon explored in the book of the same name, The Second Shift and how that is one of the leading (if not the most important) factors in why women haven’t been able to fully integrate into the professional world just shows how we still put all of the onus for finding “balance” between family life and career onto women while, for men, things remain largely the same. There is no such term as “working fathers’ guilt” and until there is (or we just eradicate the guilt altogether by taking equal responsibility for children), this discussion is going nowhere.
That said, I was happy to see some more complex issues tackled instead of the usual childcare and maternity leave agenda that only goes in circles and which has been covered a thousand times. Looking at how many of our gender differences are biological and which are a result of our environments was interesting because even when there are small biological differences in how our brains work, the presenters wondered if the only reason these differences are noteworthy is because our society has historically favoured men. My opinion? Hell yes! The very definitions of “success” and “business” and “power” are based on male imperatives. So not only are women struggling against false perceptions of their intelligence and capabilities, but a world that was designed for and by men, with few concessions to women’s strengths. Instead, to be truly successful, one must be like a man to some extent. Women who “think like men” are praised for shrugging off traditional stereotypes of feminine behaviour (because these are associated with weakness), but at the same time are prevented from joining the upper ranks because people tend to personally dislike women who exhibit masculine traits like aggression, direction and focus. Add to this that powerful women are threatening to many men, even the ones who heap praise on her for being “one of the boys” and it’s an extremely frustrating catch-22, one that I was glad to see the documentary touch upon.
This was illustrated perfectly by the female business owner who said she was back at work four days after having a baby because the market just doesn’t allow for any time off, even when that “break” is to give birth to another human, not go for a golfing trip somewhere warm with one’s buddies. More than just history, our capitalistic society is based on male biology. The inclusion of pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and the demands of caring for small children into a normative and widespread economic structure has remained virtually nonexistent, despite small allowances like a statutory maternity leave and it being illegal to fire a woman due to pregnancy (though the latter still happens frequently). Praising women for being dedicated to their careers by returning to work literally days after giving birth (denying the realities of female biology) but at the same time judging them as substandard mothers who should be at home with their babies is the pinnacle of ridiculousness in the working mothers debate.
Equally ridiculous was the interview with the lady (I can’t remember her name) who set up the first women’s refuges in the UK. Her opinion was that feminism had “gone too far” because now, instead of having a choice in whether to work or stay at home, she felt most women had no choice but to work, that motherhood had been devalued, and that family life as a whole had suffered irreperably. While I can see her point (to a degree) because I agree that too many women’s choices have gone the opposite direction in regards to whether they feel able to choose equally between work or childrearing, and I do think that motherhood and household management have been devalued, I wholly disagree that this is somehow the fault of feminism, or second wave feminists. Again, where is the discussion on changing the entire structure of business to accomodate women, and the serious lack of initiative on men’s part to form a fathers’ movement for equal access to and responsibility for their children? The only time we see fathers publicly fighting for the right to their children is when they’re entirely taken away from them as a result of divorce (Fathers4Justice, anyone?).
But why does it take them being completely removed before they put up a fight? Where are the outspoken denouncements of men pressured to work increasingly long hours to increase their employers’ profits, taking time away from their domestic duties and quality time with their kids and decreasing the likelihood that their partners will be successful and fulfilled in their careers? Where is the outrage over media portrayals of women as long-suffering carers who act as the glue holding the family together and men as inadequate, inept and hopelessly selfish when it comes to raising children? Why are feminists expected to tackle all of these issues, and more, while many men are happy to just sit back and wait for others to bring about change that they are perhaps not even socially invested in? Could it be that they don’t want things to change? I mean, it would mean more sweeping, shopping and nappy-changing, after all, and that’s women’s stuff. A lot of men, no matter how much they love their children and respect their partners, still subconsciously think of these things as Not Their Problem. The number of times I’ve seen or heard males purporting to be feminists or feminist-supporters bemoan the way THEY are treated and marginalised on the domestic front but instead of doing something about it expect women to, once again, do the dirty work….well, let’s just say I’d be stinking rich if I got a pound in each instance. Talk about a second shift! Women are expected to work all day and then come home and run the household and fight for social change for women and then for men too. In our spare time, of course.
Step up, brothers! It’s time to be fathers. Step up, husbands! It’s time to be partners.
Until the discourse on ‘working mothers’ is changed at a fundamental level, making it a discussion on working parents that holds men just as accountable as women for how they will balance their professional and personal lives, documentaries like this, although interesting and thoughtful, will continue to create more questions than they answer and put the burden squarely on women’s already laden shoulders.
Part Two, entitled “Why can’t a woman earn as much as a man?” will air tonight at 9pm on BBC2. More commentary to come tomorrow.
