Be the change you wish to see
NS March 9th, 2009
Those who read my site already know how I feel about the oppression and objectification of women; about violent crimes against women going unpunished and even condoned; how our choices are often limited by our biology; the tired jokes and stereotypes designed to make us feel small and inadequate; the sense of ownership some men exhibit over the females in their lives; the inequality, intimidation and sexism still rampant in the political arena, the workplace and public spaces; and the impossible physical and behavioural standards impressed upon us from childhood.
But today, on International Women’s Day*, I want to take a quick minute (because that’s all I’ve got these days!) to address those of you (not just my readers, but in general) who might not give feminism much thought or credence. Contrary to what some people think, feminism is not dead. Those of you who don’t identify as feminist or who don’t believe it is a necessary or worthwhile movement, know this: you are incredibly privileged to even be able to hold that opinion; to have the luxury to think that the world has been mostly cured of its violent, misogynistic, dark side, or that, at the very least, it’s not your problem.
Ask a woman who has lost her job when her boss found out she was pregnant or when she had to take off work to pick up a sick child; ask a woman who has been beaten by her husband repeatedly for not making him feel like enough of a man; ask the little girl who was raped by soldiers when her country was at war; ask the shy teenager with large breasts how many unsolicited and rude remarks she gets about her body; ask the schoolgirl who is given a Bratz doll for Christmas instead of the soccer ball or lab set she really wanted — they will all tell you why feminism matters, and why women matter. Even if they aren’t aware of the wider implications, their stories remind us. And if you need more examples, there are plenty.
We are worth the change we need. But to affect that change we need to tackle the root of all this pain and heartache, death and destruction, insensitivity and unfairness. We need ALL women calling themselves feminists and joining forces instead of wasting energy arguing over semantics and tearing one another down. We need to care about our daughters’ and granddaughters’ futures, not just our own. And, perhaps most of all, we need men sympathetic to women’s struggle for equality and acknowledgement to stop blustering about how evolved and modern they are and start doing and saying. Until they start calling out sexist colleagues for discrimination in the boardroom, asking for more paternity leave, telling their friends to knock it off when they bother strange women or tell stupid jokes and complaining to advertising agencies for pigeonholing them all as breast-obsessed idiots who can’t run a vacuum cleaner or look after a child, our struggle will always be uphill and the power we seek pried from resentful fingers instead of shared with open hands.
Today, decide to be the change you wish to see.
*This was supposed to go out yesterday but life and a cold got in the way
