NS February 10th, 2009

I am a walking contradiction.

I don’t believe in God or the supernatural but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s a little something more out there than just dust and space and science. I just have no idea what it is.

I have done and enjoyed drugs in the past but didn’t have any for my son’s birth.

I’m not a big believer in homeopathy or alternative medicine (though I don’t think they do any harm) but I’m not convinced that modern medicine is all it’s cracked up to be either.

I am one of those rarities – a stay-at-home mother who wishes she could actually afford to work!

I complain about not having enough time to myself but when I do I often just waste it doing something entirely unnecessary or trivial.

I am a liberal, pro-choice feminist who is a also an informed birth, attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding advocate. I think they go hand-in-hand but many others view them as polar opposites.

I am a feminist with a sense of humour.

I am a writer who doesn’t often get published; at least not for money.

I am an American who knows geography.

I extoll the virtues of patience but have little myself.

I rage against the homemaker machine but still hold myself to those unrealistic standards sometimes.

I dream about what I would do if I didn’t have kids but I can’t imagine my life without them.

I don’t like country music but I love bluegrass.

I abhor coconut but like coconut milk. I don’t like oranges or orange-flavored foods but I love Jaffa Cakes and will drink orange juice as long as it doesn’t have pulpy bits floating in it.

I am very outgoing but like being on my own.

I love men, both individually and generally, but I really dislike them as a whole sometimes.

I don’t like what they represent but I can’t help but sing along to female pop stars’ songs (Britney, Amy, et al).

• Miscellaneous Missives
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NS February 9th, 2009

You know that song Dolly Parton sang, in her sweet little warbling twang, about the coat of many colours? Well, I may not have a patchwork coat that my mama made me before she done gone and died, leaving me to be raised by my dirt-poor, God-fearin’, whiskey-drinkin’ coalminer daddy, but I do have a shirt of many uses. It’s the shirt I wear when I know I’m going to be doing a variety of things which will likely result in matter or liquid of some description ending up on my chest, arms and/or back. I clean in it, wear it when one of my children are sick, or when I am just feeling too lousy to make an effort in my appearance whatsoever. I only wear it a couple times a month (“Thank god!” TNH will say) but when I do it signifies my sense of abandon with regards to the day — things will NOT be as they usually are, due to illness or mood or cleaning project.

Why, just today my shirt of many uses was puked on (twice), spit on, used as an impromptu face washer, dust cloth, spill cleaner and tissue. It started out blue but I’m not sure what colour is qualifies as now…perhaps whitish grey? It’s utterly shapeless and does my body little justice. I love it and am repulsed by it at the same time. If I tried to donate it to a charity shop I’m sure the nice lady working there would recoil and horror and tell me that, actually, that little village in the western Sahara doesn’t need clean water or a school after all, thankyouverymuch.

I knew things had gone beyond hope for this shirt to be treated with at least some respect as a garment, not a rag, when I used it to wipe my own nose while trying to nurse TNB to sleep earlier this evening. Right there next to the baby vomit, peanut butter smear and clumps of thick dust from where I cleaned out the light fixture shades for the first time in over a year today…my own disgusting mark added to it like another square sewn onto a quilt.

Needless to say, my shirt of many uses isn’t something I’ll be passing down as a family heirloom.

• Miscellaneous Missives , Parenting 101
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NS February 8th, 2009

I wrote in December about feeling that I was letting TNC watch too much television and that I was becoming too embroiled in the computer and how that was making me a crappy parent and her a whingey toddler. I asked for your help in coming up with ideas to get us up off the sofa and our eyes averted from our respective screens. You gave me some fantastic ideas and links to sites with even *more* fantastic ideas, for which I am very thankful.

I promised that when I had a comprehensive list put together I would share it with you and so here it is, in all its sanity-saving glory. Some of them are pretty simple, others are more creative. I’ve included some physical acitivities, some messy and some quiet or low-key. I hope it provides a range of ideas for mums (and dads!) looking for inspiration for playtime with their tots. And if you have even more to add, please do leave a comment for consideration in the sequel, if there is enough material to warrant such an endeavour. Now, get to playing!

1. Baking – Let your little one help mix, knead, pour and decorate the finished product
2. Glueing – Paper, pasta, beans, tissue paper, string…you can glue lots of stuff!
3. Painting – finger or with brushes
4. Make a bird feeder with a pinecone, peanut butter, seeds and a string
5. Nature walks
6. Make a nature table with items collected on your walks, representing each place you went or season
7. Bucket of water, suds and sponges – let ‘em have at it!
8. Visit animals – pet store, petting zoo or farm
9. Make or buy a play kitchen
10. Play grocery store and let them put items from cupboards into a basket or bag
11. Drawing – stencils, doodles, ‘Mystery Picture’ game
12. Music – sing songs, play a cd, dance, play instruments
13. Make a paper chain or bunting with flags
14. Play-dough
15. Face painting
16. Dress-up
17. Cups – pour water from cup to cup, hide objects in them or stack
18. Make a fort/house with blanekts, pillows and chairs/sofa
19. Treasure hunts
20. Coloring
21. Stamps and ink pads
22. Make jewelry
23. Water and sand table
24. Magna Doodle
25. Tea party
26. Reading books
27. Make a squirrel feeder by drilling a screw onto an L-shaped piece of wood and placing ear of corn on the screw
28. Spread icing on biscuits (cookies) and make sandwiches out of them or decorate
29. Put on a play/act out a scene
30. Play ‘Riddley Riddley Ree’ (repeat phrase then say “I see something you don’t see, and the color is ______”; they guess)
31. Play ‘I Spy’
32. Play Hide ‘n’ Seek
33. Give a horsey ride
34. Play Follow The Leader
35. Make puppets
36. Put on a puppet show
37. Play with dolls – feed, change nappy, dress, put to sleep, take for a walk, etc..
38. Go for a walk in the rain and puddle jump
39. Go for a “swim” in the bath
40. Draw on the tub with bath crayons
41. Visit a toddler-friendly website (Starfall and Poisson Rouge are good ones)
42. Play Candyland
43. Play memory/matches with cards
44. Decorate and play in a large box
45. Stickers
46. Play ‘taxi’ by putting two chairs in a row and pretending to drive each other to places you know
47. Make a car out of a laundry basket or large box; make a steering wheel and tires out of paper plates
48. Make shadows and light patterns with a flashlight (torch)
49. Cook together
50. Copycat – mimic each other’s actions
51. Bowling (can make your own pins with empty bottles)
52. Take pictures of each other (with supervision using your own or a toddler-friendly camera)
53. Tube ball
54. Balloon baseball
55. Big Mouth ball toss
56. Musical chairs
57. Wrap, open and rewrap a small toy until bored of it
58. Wear mummy/daddy’s shoes and try to walk
59. Bottles and lids – Give an assortment of bottles and lids and see if he/she can match them up and screw them on
60. Thread beads, tubular pasta, curlers, etc..
61. Play Postman using junkmail
62. Play with clothespins
63. Blow bubbles
64. Pin the tail on the donkey
65. Collect rocks
66. Dig in the dirt/mud
67. Give them a handbag or backpack and let them put their treasured posessions inside
68. Building blocks
69. Paper airplanes
70. Shape sorter
71. Sticky Feet – put tape on shoes/feet and walk across non-carpeted floor
72. Fold clothes and match up socks
73. Make a wave bottle
74. Make a reward chart
75. Potato or cork prints
76. Cut fruit into shapes and make faces
77. Make candy
78. Foot and hand tracing
79. Draw with chalk on a chalkboard or outside on pavement
80. Make popcorn and thread or glue while munching on some
81. Paper plate faces or hats
82. Bubble wrap – pop it, jump on it, paint it, stuff it into bags or boxes
83. Make smoothies or juice pops
84. Make ice cream
85. Play with cooked spaghetti noodles
86. Flour and water messy time
87. Paint rocks
88. Read books in silly voices
89. Blow bubbles in a glass with a straw
90. Play doctor/patient
91. Pretend to ride an airplane by laying on your back, balancing your child on your knees and hands and moving them up and down
92. Race each other
93. Leapfrog
94. Play ‘sleeping bunnies’
95. Ring-around-the-rosie
96. Toss/roll/kick a ball
97. Make a menu
98. Put makeup on each other for fun
99. Jump on the bed – do somersaults
100. Let them help sweep or dust
101. Going on vacation game – pack a bag or suitcase with what they think they’ll need

• Antics of The Noble Child , Home and Hearth , Parenting 101
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NS February 5th, 2009

excuse the lack of capitalization and punctuation going on in here something funky is going on with my keyboard and will not allow me to use any of the shift keys> anyhoo>>>

i am declaring an official delurking day here at noble savage because a) i have never done one and b) i am a nosy so_and_so and am curious who might be reading and never comments> i have a stats program that tells me where people are and how long they stay and so on but i generally have the same dozen people commenting regularly even though more than twice that number are subscribers> so go on introduce yourself: tell me how you found me> what you enjoy reading about< what you do not (within reason: no trolls or rants about how crap i am< please) or would like to see more of> if you@re already a regular commenter i@d still like to hear from you too __ refresh my memory on how you came to find my site or how we know each other> i promise i will not make anyone do a group hug and i don@t bite>

god this keyboard crap is driving me nuts> if anyone has a clue what might be going on with that do let me know!

• Banal Breakdown
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NS February 4th, 2009

Here’s a fact: When there is someone else around, even for just part of my day, I am an infinitely better mother. My patience levels soar, my affection manifests itself and I feel happier, calmer and more sane all around.

Due to the heavy snowfall that London received a couple days ago, The Noble Husband was forced to work from home both Monday and Tuesday. Just knowing he was upstairs and that I could pop in for a quick chat or ask him to keep an eye on one of the kids while I used the loo or put a load of laundry on made all the difference in my mood. The day flew by instead of dragging on endlessly like it often does when I’m not around any other adults. I can now understand why the 1950s was when we started to see the emergence of the unhappy housewife — it was the beginning of mass movement to the suburbs and isolation for mothers raising children. I truly believe, after logging nearly three years of it, that parenthood is meant to be a shared experience on a much more regular basis than just weekends and evenings.

The irony is, as much as I want company during the day, in the evenings and on weekends I just want to be alone. I dream of uninterrupted baths, laying on the sofa for hours reading a book and going for solitary strolls. Strange, huh?

• Parenting 101
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