Passive vessels, step right up!
NS January 28th, 2009
I’m sure you’ve heard by now about the woman in California who gave birth to eight children (octuplets) on Monday. The story would’ve been big in and of itself (there has only been one other live birth of octuplets in the US) but the ‘shocker’ was that they were only expecting seven. Baby number 8 was a surprise, apparently hidden away during scans and exams.
A few things bother me about this story. First and foremost, that the doctors have been the focus of the story, not the mother or the babies. The opening paragraph of this story in the LA Times is all about the team of physicians, surgeons and nurses and what a good job they did in planning the birth “for weeks.” No mention of the woman’s plans or fears for the birth, or mention of her health other than “Mom is doing well.”
The other thing that struck me is how the army of doctors were commended for delivering the babies so quickly — all eight were pulled from their mother’s womb within five minutes. I don’t find that commendable, I find it a bit scary and sad. This was obviously not a gentle arrival into the world for these babies. They were yanked out of there like gangbusters and “processed lovingly through an assembly line of medical workers.” I don’t care how gently they held the just-yanked-out babies, the person who should’ve been holding them lovingly was their mother and father. I realise that this was an impossibility in their situation, with so many babies to be delivered, but I’m sure it pained the mother immensely to not be able to hold or even see her babies as they emerged, instead passed down a conveyor belt of gloved and masked hands to an incubator and bright lights. To say that the workers held the babies ‘lovingly’ is a slight to the parents, who would’ve loved to be the ones holding their children first. But don’t forget, folks — doctors are GOD and if you don’t worship in their temple you will be excommunicated. Grrrr…
The silver lining in this story (and it’s a BIG silver lining) is that the mother is quoted as saying that she plans to breastfeed them all. Rock on, mama! Of course, others have already rolled their eyes and made comments about her naivety in thinking she could breastfeed eight babies when so many fail to feed even one, but those naysayers are likely thinking that she means exclusively breastfeed all of them for months on end. I’m sure that even if she can’t do that, the mother is perfectly able to ensure that each child gets at least some breastmilk, either by feeding them all for as long as she can cope or giving them each breastmilk and supplement with donated milk or formula. It’s certainly not outside the realm of possibility and I hate that people are being so negative and mean-spirited about it. The poor woman just had eight babies cut out of her and will have a long recovery and spend weeks, if not months, in the NICU visiting them and caring for them until they are well enough to go home. Why poo-poo her wish to give them the best start by ensuring they each receive at least some of her milk? I swear, some people just WANT others to fail. Meanies.
- I Bitch Therefore I Am , In The News , Parenting 101
- Comments(11)
“First and foremost, that the doctors have been the focus of the story, not the mother or the babies.” I am *so* glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed that. I was starting to think I’d gone mad!
Also… about the breastfeeding. Well, the hardest part about having eight babies must surely be… well, having eight babies! However you’re going to feed them! In fact, if anything, surely breastfeeding would be one of the slightly-less-difficult moments? Eight does sound like a lot of milk to produce, and who knows, she may well need to supplement, but … the body is an amazing organ, and stranger things have happened.
I often don’t post on the blogs I read when I disagree (and I try and read blogs that challenge, me, like yours!), but I don’t disagree so much here as find your view so different from mine – since I work in communications for a hospital I would be totally focused on the medical part of the story. I like to think I rarely lose the patient perspective but I am assuming (and I could be wrong) that the woman was aided by the help of medicine and so medicine should be a very large part of the story. Thanks for giving me a different perspective!
my understanding was that the mother hasn’t wanted to share any personal details as yet. thus, i imagine, the intense media focus on the drs. also, i mean, it *is* a product of modern medicine – mother and children could never survive the natural birth of eight (not to mention the obvious fertility interventions that allow such a thing to happen in the first place).
as far as being born in under 5 min – i thought that was because once you actually open up the uterus, the longer it’s open, the greater the risk of infection, and the more distress to the babies? faster=better i thought?
i may be off base here, of course.
also: *none* of the drs. and other medical professionals i know see themselves as god – just people who actually want to HELP others live healthy lives, so i think that statement is perhaps a bit harsh.
Ruth: the mind boggles — imagine feeding eight babies! — but more power to her, I hope she succeeds.
Courtney: I agree that medicine is a big part of the story and should be mentioned, certainly, but I didn’t like how it was the focus, particularly how the doctors were heaped with accolades and praised as the ones who delivered this woman of her children, not that they assisted in her birth experience. I felt that her ‘voice’ (even if not in direct quotes) was missing from the story and made it all about the medical teams’ efforts, not the incredible fact that a woman gave birth to EIGHT babies, one of which was a surprise for them all. I also thought it was a bit insensitive to talk about how lovingly they handled the babies in their first moments of life, as the mother might read that back later and be quite hurt that it wasn’t her. That was just my gut reaction though, she may feel completely happy with how it went and that be glad that the team handled her babies with care. I don’t doubt their intentions were good but I sometimes think the mother is lost sight of in all the hullabaloo surrounding an eventful birth. An obstetrician once told me “My primary concern is the baby, not the mother. My job is to get the baby out of her as quickly and safely as possible with minimal harm to both.” I know that seems a normal statement to many but I find it a bit scary that the women are sometimes an afterthought. To me, this story was just another example.
Jen: I agree that since the mother hasn’t given her personal details that the doctors are going to do more talking to the press than they normally do in situations like this, but I guess I still found a certain lack of sensitivity on their part in not giving much mention to the woman who carried the babies and will be sacrificing an awful lot to care for them over the years. I disagree, however, that because the parents may have received fertility treatments (we don’t know that as of yet, though it’s pretty unlikely they didn’t) that they should expect a completely medicalised event. I’m sure they didn’t expect eight babies, even with IVF. You’re right that they wouldn’t have survived the pregnancy and/or birth in the past though. I can’t imagine the strain carrying eight fetuses must have on one person’s body. I barely coped with just one bun in the oven!
As for the quick deliveries — I’m actually not sure about that, you may be right. But I have heard of doctors doing ‘gentle caesareans’ where they deliver the (single) baby slowly instead of whipping it out in one pull so I can’t imagine that they were putting their patients at risk by doing so. Though again, I realise that they can’t dawdle when there are eight of them. The thing is, from most women I know who have had c-sections, they say the event usually takes about 10-20 minutes from preparing for first cut to baby delivered. I just can’t imagine delivering EIGHT babies in FIVE minutes when that’s at least how long they usually take to deliver one. I envisioned doctors rummaging around in the mother’s uterus, yanking feet and heads out willy-nilly and in rapid succession and handing them down the conveyor belt of waiting hands. It just seems so…fast, and a bit brutal. Even though she was anesthetized she would’ve still been able to feel the tugging and pulling and I can’t imagine it’s pleasant when it’s going that fast.
I know plenty of doctors too and while none of them think they are God, per se (that was a bit OTT, I admit, but it’s my blog and I vent my frustrations irrationally sometimes — what can I say?), some of them really do lose focus on the patients and bristle at questioning of their judgment, manner or method. Making women believe that they MUST do things a certain way (particularly when it comes to birth in general) and not giving them any other options except to take their wisdom at face-value can make women ill-informed and not ‘own’ their bodies and their choices. I just want more doctors to actually form a relationship with their patients where communication and idea-sharing is a two-way street instead of a decree issued and followed. And I want more women to question, research and educate themselves so that when the time comes, they are capable of making their own decisions and therefore have a greater chance of being happy with the outcome. As it is right now, too many women come away from their birth experiences feeling powerless, scared, sad and confused. Something needs to change.
And with that, I am finishing this insanely long comment!
I dunno, the reason the mother probably couldn’t hold her children was because they were each about 1lb. That’s a dangerous weight and babies in that condition are whisked away immediately. It’s sad that the mother couldn’t lay her babies near her chest, close to the reassuring heartbeat they are used to, but in this case, I don’t think it was an option.
As an aside, their birth weight opens a lot of debate about the ethics of certain IVF methods, but that’s another post, you see.
I too rolled my eyes at the eye rollers who chuckled at the thought of a woman breastfeeding eight children. To each their own, and your guess is as good as mine as to how she’s going to attempt this, but kudos to her for even thinking about it after going through all that!!
The human body is amazing and it goes to show how far we’ve deviated from nature when we mock a mom using her breasts for something other than jiggling them in wet t-shirt contests or sprawling them across cars in advertisements.
“It just seems so…fast, and a bit brutal.”
yeah, that was my thought too tabitha – when babies weigh that little and are that premature, the potential for immediate health crises is pretty high (lungs not fully developed, etc), and i just assumed that they whisked them out quickly in case they needed resuscitation/oxygen/heat. i’d guess any delays could be very risky. thus the teams of dr.s for each baby, to ensure each child had a maximum chance of survival.
“I disagree, however, that because the parents may have received fertility treatments (we don’t know that as of yet, though it’s pretty unlikely they didn’t) that they should expect a completely medicalised event.”
oh, i don’t think it has anything to do with fertility treatments that they had to have a medicalised birth, but the fact that they had 8 children at once! my only point in mentioning the fertility treatments is that (unless this was a natural biological miracle), medicine is what created this situation in the first place, and medicine is what allowed all 8 babies and the mother to survive. from beginning to end, this is a unique situation created by medicine. ideal? no – but i bet the mom is probably pretty grateful that she’s got (what appears to be) 8 very much wanted and healthy children.
re: drs developing relationships with their patients. of course. but i’m not sure we can infer from the little information we know that this was NOT the case here, and i guess i bristle at the immediate assumption that it wasn’t. in fact, given the amount of intensive monitoring she must’ve been under, i’d guess she probably had more of a relationship with her dr(s) than most women. whether that relationship was good or bad, we simply don’t know.
Out of interest, I read another story which stated that the mother lives with her parents in a house in a neighborhood with 2- and 3-bedroom homes. And that she already has 6 children, 2 of them twins.
There was no mention of the father.
I ackowledged that it wouldn’t have been practical for her to hold the babies, I just thought it was a bit insensitive to mention how lovingly the doctors held them as they were passed around when the parents weren’t able to be the first to hold their children. That doesn’t mean I think they’re heartless bastards, I just thought they seemed to be taking the ‘credit’ for the birth, sidelining the mother in the process.
As for how fast it was — I don’t doubt that they had good intentions and did things in the best manner for the babies but I still can’t comprehend how they got eight babies out in five minutes when it usually takes at least that long when a single baby is delivered by c-section. Many women describe the tugging and ‘rummaging around in your insides’ feeling as quite unpleasant and I can imagine that pulling that many babies out that fast could’ve been seriously uncomfortable and even painful for her. Yes, I know they did this out of concern for the babies but I can’t help but speculate on how she felt about the whole experience when it was such a whirlwind and a circus.
When I talked in my previous comment about doctors not always having communicative and informative relationships with their patients I was talking in more general terms about OBs and birth, not about this case in particular. I could go into more detail about how I came to this conclusion and formed this opinion but I’m tired of talking about this right now so I’m going to leave it. I might write another post about it in the near future though.
Thanks for the discussion and feedback! I’m closing comments now.
[...] Noble Savage » Blog Archive » Passive vessels, step right up! "First and foremost, that the doctors have been the focus of the story, not the mother or the babies. The opening paragraph of this story in the LA Times is all about the team of physicians, surgeons and nurses and what a good job they did in planning the birth “for weeks.” No mention of the woman’s plans or fears for the birth, or mention of her health other than “Mom is doing well.” [...]
[...] Bolded emphasis mine. All I can say is big HELL NO, doctors should not be overriding anything when it comes to their patients. Women do not lose their brainpower, their autonomy, their judgment or their rights when they become pregnant. And since when did having “great expectations about giving birth” become synonymous with diminished capacity to make decisions? This is the crap I was talking about in my recent post. [...]