Brown ladies with strange names
NS November 13th, 2008
Yesterday I rang my GP’s surgery and asked for an appointment with my usual doctor. He didn’t have anything until late next week so the receptionist offered me an alternative: I could book with the “lady doctor” that works on Saturdays, but only if that was “okay with me.” She said it almost apologetically, as if what she was offering me was obviously sub-par but that if I was desperate it just might do. I told her that of course it was okay with me and asked for the doctor’s actual name so that I didn’t have to inform the front desk when I arrived, “I’m here to see that woman doctor I hear you’ve got working today,” as if it were the strangest thing.
I then remembered that my usual GP, who is Indian, is addressed as “Dr. (insert first name)” instead of Dr. Surname. I had always thought that the staff at the office must just be all very relaxed and casual with the doctors but then realised that on the one occasion when I had seen a white GP, just last week, he was always addressed as Dr. Surname. This was the case at my former GP’s practice, too. I had a female Indian doctor whom they called Dr. Jxxx (her first name). I always insisted on calling her by her surname, like the rest of the doctors were addressed, and often got funny looks by the office staff for doing so. I even got complimented one day for being able to pronounce her long and very Indian-sounding last name. I figure it’s the same story with my current GP — they just can’t be bothered to learn how to pronounce his foreign name (or think the patients won’t be able to) and so he’s just Dr. Axx, not Dr. Rxxxaneshxxxx.
I know that these may seem like minor details and that we have all used language that could be construed as offensive to someone out there, but it never fails to astound me when I hear phrases like ‘lady doctor’ or ‘half-caste’ or ‘Oriental’ bandied about in the UK in such a flippant manner. I’ve always been told that it’s just a cultural difference and that no one means any harm or disrespect by using these terms, but I have to wonder if the same people who say this actually have a vested interest in seeing anything change. To them it doesn’t matter, they’re only words, and it would be ridiculous to change how they have grown up speaking and what they call something just to make others more comfortable in what they consider a PC-mad world. That’s what many Brits have told me, at least.
But what these terms do is draw lines between us, setting anyone who is not White or Male or British apart from the crowd. It isn’t usually done maliciously or even intentionally, I have no doubt, but the fact remains that once you’ve been told that a certain word or phrase is offensive to a significant portion of a population, you don’t carry on using it just because *you* don’t think it’s a big deal or because you know one or two people from each of those groups and they say they don’t mind. Most (polite) people won’t tell you that you’re using offensive language to your face, especially if they know that their feelings are likely to be dismissed.
I know for damn sure that if I went through med school and became a qualified doctor, I wouldn’t put up with being called ‘lady’ or by my first name just because some people are too lazy to adapt their vocabulary.
- Activism , Britishisms , I Bitch Therefore I Am
- Comments(8)
What a fantastic post. I’ve often thought about this myself but never wrote about it, you summed it up perfectly.
Here here sista. I agree. In a broad generalisation, Australia is the exact same way. The apple didn’t fall from the tree, aye? Why can they not just say a “female GP on premises” or something like that? Instead I see signs in medical centre windows that say “full-time lady doctor”. Not entirely sure about the English, but Australians are admittedly notorious for being lazy with language. Australians speak very fast, fun everything together and take short-cuts wherever possible. That’s one thing, but to not take the time to learn someone’s name is lazy. It is terribly disrespectful to a doctor to not call them by their proper surname. (Off my soap-box now…)
I have a multi-syllabic last name of Italian origin and my “Australian” students call me Dr. Chris. Although I’m not sure it’s the same thing. I’ve told them just to call me Chris, but that seems to be anathema to them.
I know what you mean though about the race thing in Britain. As your commenter above said, it’s as bad (maybe worse) here.
Absolutely right. Women who have earned that higher degree should get the same respect that their male colleagues get. For that matter, all women should get the same respect as their male counterparts regardless of their occupation. We still have a long way to go.
One thing to be aware of though is that nurse practitioners and physician’s assistants may sometimes be referred to by staff and patients as Dr when indeed they are not. Because there is not an appropriate title to use before their names some staff seem to think it is okay to just say Dr. Julie instead of Julie Smith, nurse practitioner. This is wrong because it implies to the patients that their provider has a higher education level than is true.
Well written. You’re funny. She could have just been apoligizing because she was offering you a part-time doctor instead of your regular one. I always get apologies if I don’t get in to see the ‘main’ doctor regardless of race or sex (although I admit the part-timer tends to be female).
I agree. Though I remember having a teacher with a long, Czech name and we called her “Mrs. H.” It seems like any teacher with more than three syllables in their name were called a letter.
Sarah — Thanks. Glad to know I’m not the only one who has noticed it.
Erin — “Full-time lady doctor”…that sounds like a bad porno movie title or something.
Chris — I know what your last name is, it’s not that difficult at ALL. Did the students stumble over your name and so you told them to call you by your first?
Lyn — Yes, I did wonder if perhaps the woman in question is in fact more of a nurse practitioner (not sure what the equivalent is called here) and so they call her ‘lady-doctor’ as a way of implying that she is not a ‘proper’ doctor. That’s almost more insulting than the alternative!
Laura — Yes, that’s true, it could be that. I guess my previous experience of the same receptionist referring to female doctors and those with hard-to-pronounce last names as Dr. FirstName or ‘lady doctor’ didn’t put me in the most objective frame of mind when it came to deciphering her intentions.
as always, well-stated. when are women going to get the same respect as men?! it’s exhausting.
as for my own personal preference – no my first name ain’t baby, it’s andrea… miss davis if you’re nasty! (sorry – couldn’t help the janet reference
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