A better me
NS October 9th, 2008
I’ve posted before about my anger problems and how I planned to take up some hobbies that I felt would make me more patient and give me some much-needed relaxation and de-stressing. The anger problem hasn’t been eradicated, it still comes and goes (though coming with much less regularity and intensity), but I never got around to taking up knitting or the guitar like I said I would. The beginner’s knitting class I signed up for was overbooked and so, as one of the last people to sign up, I was booted off the list and I never looked for another one. I did get my guitar back from my in-laws’ house but it needs to be restrung and I haven’t had a way to get it into a music shop. But now that I have a car and can get around much more easily, I have no excuses. I’m going to take the guitar in to be repaired this weekend and am going to see if I can find a good book on learning to knit, along with some instructional videos online. Any suggestions or recommendations would be appreciated.
Two other things I would really, really like to do more of is photography and exercise. These are slightly more difficult in that to really get into the former I would need a better camera and I just can’t afford it right now (maybe something second-hand for Christmas/Mother’s Day/my birthday in June? Hint, hint TNH!), and the latter requires time on my own, away from The Noble Baby. Seeing as he’s only three weeks old and isn’t in any kind of pattern with his feeding yet, this definitely requires some careful planning and thought. Making it especially tricky is the fact that TNC has dropped her nap most days now so I don’t get my previously coveted two hour break in the middle of the day. But I know I need the exercise. Not only for weight loss and toning purposes, but for better mental health and more energy. I will be returning to my freelance aspirations in just a few short weeks, once TNB is two months old, to see if I can make working from home work. This is going to require an inordinate amount of time and dedication and will likely result in a lack of sleep. I will look after and play with two children all day, do the shopping, pay the bills, keep the house (relatively) clean, do the laundry, run the errands, prepare meals and then, at least three nights a week, when TNH gets home, I will hand the domestic reins over to him and go upstairs to my office area to work until dinnertime and then again until bedtime, most likely while I nurse and hold TNB. At least once each weekend I will also need an additional few hours to myself to write and so hubs will have to take both children out for a little while on his own. We’ll both be doing massive overtime and won’t have much of a social life while this is going on (not that we had a hoppin’ one already).
Seeing as this will cut into any downtime that I may have, I need to be able to use that time wisely and productively. Instead of watching tv, eating junk food or sitting in front of the computer to ‘relax’, I am going to need to do things that make me feel better about myself as a woman, as a writer/artist and as a parent. Relaxing by doing nothing is a different kettle of fish to relaxing by doing something. I know that I tend to keep myself motivated only when I am on top of my game — alert, on schedule, flitting from one thing to the next with precision and ease. I feel good about myself when I get lots of things done, or when I can see or at least visualise results. I think that’s why these new hobbies appeal to me so much — they are all things I can track my progress on quite easily. I will know when I’ve mastered knitting because I will be able to make something wearable. I will know I am on my way to learning the guitar when I can play a song without stopping or looking at my hands. I will know I am doing my body good when I lose the excess fat from my midriff and have enough energy to see me through the days when I’ve had sleep deprived nights. I will know I am a decent photographer when I can look at my snapshots with pride and feel that I am documenting my own and my family’s lives in a timeless medium, an art form that I love and ache to excel at.
In doing these things for myself, I make myself a better person and therefore a better, more caring and patient mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend. They deserve the best me I can offer and to do that I have to nurture myself and develop some other strengths and skills besides being a cynical neurotic (that will NEVER change). I’ll update on my progress in a couple weeks. Random tips and encouragement (i.e. checking that I haven’t let things slide again) are welcome.
- Career , Health and Fitness , Home and Hearth
- Comments(12)
Just tuning in to say that the two things that have helped me with anger, impatience and the frustration of my life (which on good days is an absolutely lovely one) are exercise and keeping off the sugar. Not having those insulin spikes really helps me keep an even temperament.
Also, as you say, doing things for me. For me, it’s my writing, and when days go by and I haven’t written anything I get increasingly crabby.
Good luck! Consider me one of your main cheerleaders!
Stitch ‘N Bitch: The Knitter’s Handbook by Debbie Stoller is excellent. Just keep trying…at first it’s confusing and you think you’ll never get it, but KEEP going! Good Luck!
Oh and I meant to add, I don’t think you need a super fancy camera to take great pictures. I would love to get a SLR, but wow…pricey! So for now, I’m taking loads with my basic digital and calling it practice!
If you need a good guitar repair man I know an excellent, and inexpensive, one in Motspur Park/New Malden but if it just needs restringing I could do that for you quite easily!
I’m not much on the knitting front tho’ I’m afraid
Thanks Charlotte, it helps to know I’ve got people rooting for me. I know I need to lay off the sugar but right now it’s such an easy pick-me-up when I’m tired or feeling bored. I think that when I start exercising properly I will naturally stop eating so much sugar because I won’t need to boost my energy artificially anymore. I know that you are a big fan of yoga — would you say I could teach myself and do it at home or is it something you really have to attend a class to get the hang of?
Abby: thank you for the book recommendation, I will definitely check that out. And I can’t believe that your pictures aren’t taken with an SLR, they are amazing! I was just going to email you to ask what kind of camera you have because you take such beautiful photos. Care to share any secrets?
Gosh thanks! My camera is about 3 years old now, it’s a Panasonic Lumix DMC-FX9 no where near an SLR!
I am by no means an expert (you should check out my friend Emily’s blog!) but there are a few things I try to keep in mind when taking pictures.
When it comes to photos of Milo, I try to keep the backgrounds as simple as possible and I flood our flat with as much natural light as possible. I very rarely use a flash because I can’t figure out how to use it properly! So I open all the blinds and place Milo near windows. I’m not sure what settings your camera has, but the only two I ever use are simple and macro. In some of the photos I have of Milo where the backgrounds look really bright and white, almost washed out? That’s just loads of natural light and the simple setting. I also try to get in reallllly close to his face. And I think the biggest tip of sorts that doesn’t come across in the photos is that I take A LOT of pictures. I take photos of Milo daily and I would say, I average about 30-40 shots and then use about 2.
I hope these make sense!
we should form a knitting support group. i’ve been wanting to learn and found the site hello knitty actually sort of useful, but when it comes to teaching myself that kind of thing, i’m pretty crap at it. if you start, i will too! we can compare notes!
i think it’s great you’re revisiting all of these ideas you have for improving yourself and spending your (very limited!) free time doing things you love. it also gives you things that are entirely your own – separate from TNH, TNC and TNB. good luck!! i’ll be checking your progress when i’m there in december!
Good luck with the working from home thing. I’m trying to do it part time and it can be verrry tricky. Just so eady to get distracted, ESPECIALLY with kids around. Good luck with it.
http://www.learn2knit.co.uk/knitting.php
Best of luck & good on you for trying to sort out all things most of us should be doing…ahemmm.
We do, actually, love you wholely for who you are, my dear. It’s been my experience as your friend that you are always at your best in support and helping us lesser mortals keep perspective with your sharp & observant wit. You are a stunning mother & wife, your children are extremely lucky to have your care & complete love.
Take care & we’ll keep you to your word! Much love
Brinkster: it doesn’t necessarily need restringing but one of the pegs (no idea of the technical term) that holds the string down onto the body of the guitar is coming out and making it hard to tune. I would appreciate contact details of this inexpensive and excellent repairman in the area, thanks for the tip! Will email you.
Abby: Thanks again for the photography tips, I’ll keep them in mind next time I’m doing a photo shoot with my little guy.
Andrea: If I can get myself good enough to knit a potholder (or some other inane object) by December then I will teach you when you’re here. Don’t worry, the potholder will not be your Christmas gift.
A Free Man: Good luck to you too! I’m quite nervous about how the logistics are going to work but I figure if I work my butt off for a few months or a year, I might be able to afford part-time child care, a few hours here and there, so I can get some peace and quiet. That or I’ll just learn to tune it all out.
Emms: You always make me feel way more competent than I lead myself to believe I am. Thanks love!
knittinghelp.com
You’re going to want to bookmark that
I’m a very visual learner, and taught myself to knit with a combo of that site and the book “Teach yourself visually: knitting”. It is confusing at first but keep at it, its worth it. As for the guitar… I know nothing about that!
I’m totally wanting to learn about photography too, which for me, also means a better camera that I can’t afford. Hopefully xmas will bring us something nice. And exercising… yeah… that’s on my “to-do” list, too.
Good luck with the new WAHM gig… sounds tough, but lots of people do it and I’m sure you’ll find your groove. I’ve also just started working from home. Good luck to us!
I like the book “Learn to Knit Visually”. And also a book called “Knitting for Baby” by Melanie Falick and Kristin somebody. I am not as fond of the Debbie Stoller books (and a note of warning: her instructions for a Yarn Over (YO) are confusing and are often misinterpreted).
Good luck.