NS August 11th, 2008

After watching Michael Moore’s film on the crisis in US healthcare, Sicko, a couple nights ago, I feel the need to write a bit of a love letter to the NHS. It’s not perfect but it’s there, and that’s what matters. As someone who watched her parents struggle to pay medical bills after losing a child to cancer and as someone who went without insurance for three years as an adult, words cannot describe the peace of mind a national system of health care brings me. The thought of reentering the American system is probably the single biggest reason that I don’t move back. Being held hostage by insurance companies, HMOs, deductibles, denials, preexisting conditions, big pharma and hospitals that care more about making money than healing humans does not sound appealing in the least. So, because I don’t say it enough, here are the reasons I love the NHS:

Like I said, it certainly has problems. It’s an imperfect system, like any. But it’s there and it’s mine as much as those who were born here, like my husband and daughter and her soon-to-be sibling. C’mere and give me a big wet one, NHS, I think I’m in love!

• Britishisms , Health and Fitness
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NS August 7th, 2008

I woke up on Sunday with some kind of stomach ailment, resulting in many trips to the bathroom. This carried on into Monday and then Tuesday. By then I felt absolutely wiped out and couldn’t cope anymore so went to the GP. She suspected either mild food poisoning or gastroenteritis. Not much can be done about either except ride it out and stay hydrated. Thankfully the sickness part has finally gone but yesterday I was left feeling like I’d been hit with a ton of bricks. Just washing a dish was too much for my weakened body and I had to lean on the sink and take deep breaths numerous times before I got through the stack of plates and glasses. Walking to the store and back meant I had to lie down and take a nap when I got home. Today is not much better. I’m beginning to suspect that it’s not just the sickness that has knocked the wind out of my sails, but the business of baking this baby as well.

I’ve been feeling so good lately and this pregnancy has gone so well compared to The Noble Child’s that I think I’d forgotten that being nearly eight months along in August is probably going to limit what I can do. Just a few weeks ago I had such high hopes for the two months leading up to the birth — I would get the house clean and in order; get all of the baby things down, washed, folded, bought, organised and put away; get my new website up and running (yeah, did I tell you that I bought another domain and plan to start another site in addition to this one? yes, I’m mad); prepare for the birth; spend quality time with my family and friends and treat myself to days out, coffees and massages; get a few more article proposals sent off to the magazines I’m targeting; and continue with my daily routine of caring for a rambunctious two-year-old, keeping up with domestic chores, doing the shopping, paying the bills and managing the household budget, sustaining my marriage and finding time for blogging, reading and other activities I do on on a regular basis.

All I can say is: Self, were you momentarily deluded or are you certifiably, undeniably FUCKING INSANE? Did you forget that you’re growing another human being inside of you and that the last two months are not wholly dissimilar to certain scenes from popular horror movies including The Blob, Psycho, The Exorcist and Alien? Did you forget that you’d be getting up anywhere from 2-4 times a night to pee and that turning over in bed would be like a turtle on its back with molasses smeared on its shell trying to flip over? Did you even stop to think about the cruel fact that at the one time in your life when you could truly do with a pot of coffee, a case of Red Bull and a pack of smokes to keep you going that you will be forbidden to do so by your fetal friend? You didn’t think being impregnated while you had a toddler and at the height of summer would really be that big of a deal, did you? YOU ARE AN IDIOT, SELF.

So as of today, I am abashedly but not ashamedly admitting a defeat of sorts. This baby has kicked my ass and lowered my expectations to such an extent that from here on out my goals leading up to the birth are: keep TNC alive and reasonably clean; keep the house just clean enough that social services couldn’t take action if they saw it, even though they might want to; don’t get divorced; keep myself alive. A much simpler, more attainable list, don’t you think? It’s important to have goals but they really need adjusting once in awhile. I am hereby giving myself permission to come in for a landing. If I get my energy back and can get some of the things on my list crossed off, great. If not, anyone who thinks I’m lazy can BITE ME. Soon, I will be pushing something the size of a Virginia honey-baked ham out of an opening the size of a lemon and that officially qualifies me as a superhero capable of crushing degenerates who think this whole procreating thing is easy for women.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Super Incubator! Screw world peace and protecting innocent citizens, my special power shall be taking naps and baths whenever I damn well please. And I don’t even need a cape to do that. A tiara might be nice though.

• Miscellaneous Missives , The Noble Fetus
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NS August 4th, 2008

I’ve seen this in a few places, most recently at Everything in Between. It’s Monday and I have no energy so it’s much needed.

1. My uncle once: donated his kidney to his friends’ child

2. Never in my life: would I cheat in a game

3. When I was five: I told my kindergarten teacher that my mother was in a full body cast because I liked the way she said ‘Awww’ when someone got hurt or was sick

4. High school was: pretty good

5. I will never forget: the smell of stables from my riding days

6. Once I met: the cast of The Phantom of the Opera in New York

7. There’s this girl I know: who can down a beer faster than any man I’ve ever met

8. Once, at a bar: I threw a drink in someone’s face and then slapped him. It felt so good

9. By noon, I’m usually: eating lunch

10. Last night: I ate a delicious chili that my husband made

11. If only I had: more motivation

12. Next time I go to church: I’ll probably be in the casket

13. What worries me most: finances

14. When I turn my head left I see: stairs

15. When I turn my head right I see: books

16. You know I’m lying when: I get all irritated at the suggestion that I might be lying

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the toys

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Nurse from Romeo and Juliet

19. By this time next year: I will be able to drink margaritas again

20. A better name for me would be: I love my name and wouldn’t ever change it

21. I have a hard time understanding: people who don’t question the status quo

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: never skip class. Okay, only rarely

23. You know I like you if: I laugh a lot

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: my mother

25. Take my advice, never: down a Belfast Car Bomb (a shot of whiskey dropped in a half pint of Guinness with a measure of Bailey’s on top) when you’re already drunk

26. My ideal breakfast is: French toast and bacon with coffee and juice

27. A song I love but do not have is: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: turn around and leave immediately

29. Why won’t people: stop being such immature asses about breastfeeding in public

30. If you spend a night at my house: I will make you breakfast in the morning

31. I’d stop my wedding for: a heart attack

32. The world could do without: misogyny

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: join a sorority

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: my daughter

35. Paper clips are more useful than: tacs

36. If I do anything well it’s: making lists

37. And by the way: I just polished off the majority of a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream

• Memes
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