On the up
NS April 9th, 2008
Wow, what a difference a week makes.
After feeling at my very lowest for numerous weeks now, so down and dark that I couldn’t see how it would ever get better, I am renewed. Spending time with my parents after nearly a year’s absence and witnessing the relationship between them and TNC blossom and grow into something beautiful lifted my spirits more than I ever could’ve hoped. Having two extra pairs of hands around the house to help care for TNC, do chores and help lug shopping home made me feel part of a family and the community again. It helped that we got a few good days of sunshine and blue skies too, along with the couple days of rain and the one day of snow (snow in April! in London! Madness).
I feel like a new woman with a new lease on life — patient, positive, enthusiastic, happy. I am seeing my daughter through a new pair of eyes, ones that do not see only her limits and inconveniences. I feel genuine joy again at seeing the world from her perspective and remembering that this time is so incredibly precious that I would be a fool to wish it away. Spring is here and warmer weather is so close I can almost taste it. I can certainly hear its tune — slowly strumming, increasing in volume, plucking and wheedling its way into my soul. I feel blessed and ready to give again.
All of this renewed spirit has also enabled me to begin to pull myself out of the hole I had been digging for myself with regards to my career. Too depressed to feel worth anything to anyone, I had sort of given up on the writing thing for awhile. But a feature I wrote recently for a popular website has gotten quite a bit of attention and some new opportunities have presented themselves to me. This time I’m not going to let them pass me by, too scared and downtrodden to go after my dreams. I will succeed at this. I will. It is all I’ve ever wanted to do and all I can ever imagine myself being. It is my life, my blood, my heart. And so, you see, I have to make it work. The only other option is where I was two weeks ago and that’s not a place I ever want to go to again.
Though he writes for children, Dr. Seuss, to me, still has one of the best motivational speeches out there. An excerpt from Oh, the Places You’ll Go!:
All alone!
Whether you like it or not
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot
And when you’re alone
there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you
right out of your pants
There are some, down the road
between hither and yon
that can scare you so much
you won’t want to go on
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak
On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are
You’ll get mixed up, of course
as you already know
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go
So be sure when you step
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft
And never mix up your right foot with your left
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting
So…get on your way!
