This site, called Stuff White People Like, has been making me laugh every day since TNH emailed the link to me last week. Go have a flick through and (if you’re white) see how many apply to you. Hilarious stuff.
My other recommendation this week is a wonderful blog called Simple Words I Understand. Written by a New Yorker with a gift for beautiful prose and a knack for observing the little intimacies and intricacies in life, it makes for wonderfully simple yet deliciously riveting reading.
Anyone who knows me well knows that this cartoon sums up my computer usage quite neatly. It is rare for me to back down from an argument or debate, I just love the back-and-forth too much. Sometimes it gets me worked up unnecessarily, sure, but often it’s fun and I learn something new.
I was just sitting here trying to think of something to write about when I saw this post over at Charlotte’s Web. So in the name of shameless borrowing, here is my list of 15 things I have thought but haven’t said to people over the years, for fear of embarrassing, angering or hurting them, or out of my own shyness.
At some point during your torrid affair, I lost a lot of respect for you
You’re my best friend, even though I reassure someone else that they are
I wish you could have a bit more class sometimes
I know that when you finally find love, it will be amazing
Your voice is annoying but I like you anyway
Your generosity and kindness move me every day
I worry about how I will ever repay you
No one thinks you’re funny
I am starting to forget you
I wish you would follow through on one of your promises to yourself
I think your tough-chick/horrible mother facade is pretty lame
You are a pervert when you’re drunk and you have always made me uncomfortable
Loosen up! Who gives a toss if everything is not perfectly clean and in order?
I admire you more than you’ll ever know
You could’ve been so much more if you hadn’t thrown it all away
I found some American processed cheese slices in Tesco last week which allowed me to have the delicious lunch I just consumed — grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of vegetable soup. Nothing says ‘home’ and ‘love’ like yellow rubber cheese. I feel happy now.
Some of you may remember my post about anger and how I felt I wasn’t dealing with mine very well sometimes. I’m happy to say that things have greatly improved and the good days outnumber the bad by quite a large margin. However, I still have blips. Take today for instance. TNC woke up in a funny mood, crying and wanting to be picked up but not allowing us to touch her. She’d gone to bed last night with a slight fever, a result of what I’m sure are her two-year molars coming through. She finally let me pick her up and take her downstairs for breakfast. But every time I went to make something for her, she shouted “No!” and shook her head vehemently. I tried making her a bagel but she pulled it out of my hands and cried. I tried porridge but that got a scream. I tried fruit and cereal and that got a nod so I let her take it to her table while I made my own breakfast. By the time I got back to the living room, a mere two minutes later, the fruit puree was on the floor as was the cereal. On the carpet. The cat was chewing up the Sunday papers I’d laid out to read while I had my morning coffee and she nipped at my toes as I stood surveying the mess, causing me to wince in pain.
As the morning progressed, the cat continued to tear around like a bat out of hell and my darling daughter continued to act like the toddler from hell, demanding things then throwing them and laying down on the floor, wracked with sobs of frustration. There was a brief interlude while she ‘helped’ me do some chores but when lunchtime came, more chaos ensued. The floor I’d just swept was covered in shredded tissues (the cat) and cracker crumbs (the kid) and when I tried to get online to vent to my husband and get it off my chest, I found my internet connection down. A restart and some unplugging/replugging did no good and at that moment I felt on the brink of losing it. I was yelling at the cat, yelling at TNC, yelling at the computer…Mother Teresa could’ve walked in the door at that moment and I would’ve yelled at her too.
So in an attempt to keep things in check and not spiral out of control, I put TNC down for an early nap, locked the cat in the dining room and put the computer aside. I made my lunch and made some phone calls. I got the computer sorted. I listened to music that I love. By the time TNC woke up from her nap a short time later, I was feeling more relaxed and in control. Success! But even though I managed to get things back in order fairly quickly this time, I’d like to work on preventing the stress from building up that much in the first place.
Over the weekend I got a strong desire to take up some new hobbies, ones I’ve always wanted to do but have never had more than a cursory try at — knitting and playing the guitar. I’ve always wanted to learn to do some kind of needlework. Not because I feel I should know how to do it, as a woman, but because I think it would be fun to create things that I, my family and friends can wear and use and because having something to do with my hands, something that requires concentration but not so much that I can’t let my thoughts wander whilst doing it, would be be beneficial for my mental health, I believe. So when I was in John Lewis yesterday, I signed up for a beginning knitting class. The one being held in two weeks is full but I’m on a waiting list and if nothing opens up will get in at the end of March. Soon, I’ll be belly-heavy with baby number two and I think it would be great to learn a craft that I can practice while sitting still and unwinding from the day.
The same goes for the guitar. I’ve always wanted to learn to play the guitar well and have had a few stabs at it in the past, but never stuck with it long enough to get past a few chords and some basic strumming. Luckily, I still have a guitar in my in-laws’ loft and am going to ask them to get it down for me. I reckon I can have it restrung and be eking out Bad Moon Rising and Aimee (two of the four songs I think I could still play) by the end of the month. Even if I’m never able to play more than a small collection of my favourite songs, I’d love to have that outlet. Besides, it will give me an excuse to sing somewhere other than in the shower.
I’m not sure why the instinct to do things that I find enjoyable and relaxing has become so strong but I like to think that it has something to do with the pregnancy and my mind going into self-preservation mode. I’m sure my impending offspring would like a calm and stress-free mama, as would my existing family. And I can think of nothing more peaceful than spending time doing things I love so that my heart is able to weave a web of patience that will keep me in good stead through this next stage of motherhood. I may not have been born with the infinite tolerance gene but with my fingers and own two hands, I will create it.
