Your daily birth control reminder
NS January 29th, 2008
This was the scene: me, just now, eating crackers on the sofa, watching tv. I see one of those horribly sad NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) adverts that shows abused children cowering in corners, crying. I well up with tears and then begin coughing. This makes me gag and then I start dry heaving. I spill the crackers on the floor and TNC promptly steps on them, turning them into dust. I burst into tears and feel that the world is ending.
Yes, my friends, it’s true. The Noble Savage is pregnant. Please, if you are not currently trying for a child, go to your handbag, bedside table or medicine cabinet and do whatever it is you do to prevent yourself from getting into this state. Unless you enjoy dry heaving and crying over crackers and commercials, that is.
P.S. — Despite this post, I am actually very pleased and excited, and am due at the end of September.
- Public Service Announcements , The Noble Fetus
- Comments(26)
well, now that you’ve made it seem so appealling!!…
Jen, what? You mean that doesn’t sound like heaven on earth to you?! You’re crazy.
Bloomsbury51, your conditional congratulations (given only since I am pleased?) are welcome, though perplexing. Your criticisms of my choices, however, are not. I don’t consider expanding my family and bringing more joy into my life to be ‘messing up my career.’ Besides, that’s the beauty of being a writer — it can be done anywhere, anytime, anyplace. Nothing can ruin my career except negative thinking like the kind you are putting out there. Thanks for your concern though.
Woo-hoo! Thrilling news! You and Mr Savage must be delighted – I have not forgotten that beautiful post you wrote about him and fatherhood. I’m sure you’re going to love having an expanded family.
If I may butt in on a previous conversation, having children doesn’t mess up career plans. It may put them on hold slightly, but it doesn’t need to. In this big brave world of ours, all choices are available, from fulltime work, to part-time, to freelance, to staying at home and being a fulltime mother. And I can attest that having three kids does not stop a writer from writing and having a career.
Thanks Charlotte! You’re very right. Motherhood does not equal the end of a career, or a life, unless you let it.
Oh, and Bloomsbury51, I know who you are (hi Stuart the Stalker!) and am banning your IP address (again). You can keep making up email addresses and sneaking back here but it makes you look rather pathetic. Don’t you have female news anchors to harass and ogle and about 500 online forums to join? Get a life.
Congratulations! I had my reminder today when Amazon sent me an email saying someone got me a gift from our Baby Registry. I’ll remember this one for tomorrow. Haha.
yay!! congrats!
If you are pleased, congratulations. If you are not pleased, congratulations anyway.
. My mom had a full and rewarding career AND got her Masters Degree all whilst raising two kids nearly by herself. And I rarely remember her not being around, so yeah, keep anticipating those career plans (or whatever he meant).
Many congrats!
Congratulations
Although after that description, I think I’ll keep popping the pill!
I, for one, am thrilled about this news. Grandbabies are fabulous…all the fun without all the responsibility! Children are a lot of work but they are so worth it. Besides, after the morning sickness is over pregnancy looks good on you. Can’t wait to visit this Spring.
I EFFING KNEW IT! DIDN’T I EMAIL YOU ABOUT THIS RECENTLY!?!?!?! I JUST KNEW IT.
WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!
OMFG! I AM SO EXCITED FOR ALL OF YOU!
Yay for the new baby on the way! And TOTALLY feel your pain on the sickness (I won’t even bother calling it ‘Morning’). One word – ZOFRAN. The wonder pill that saved me from three-four months of toilet-hugging.
And something to make you smile. Check out Weirdgirl’s Lamaze List. http://weirdgirl.typepad.com/home/2006/01/the_things_they.html
Congratuwelldone!! I was beginning to wonder about the increase in baby/pregnancy talk from you of late
i can’t wait to be an auntie again!! i also can’t wait to see how TNC takes to a new little brother or sister!
Congratulations! Am very pleased for you.
OH! Wonderful news! I am so pleased for you!!!!
I had a funny feeling you might be, the other day, just from something you said. I nearly asked you but didn’t want to pry.
So pleased for you. Hope you won’t be eating crackers for too long.
Wow, congratulations!
Congrats!
w0000t!!!!!!!!!!!!! congrats!!!!!!!!!!! as you can see by my excessive use of the exclamation mark, i am really happy for you!!!!
Wow! Congratulations. I can’t believe how excited I was about this news and I’ve never even met you. (maybe it’s time I got out more). Anyway, great news
Oh and BTW, I know that advert you’re talking about and it had me in tears. It’s pretty heartbreaking, so maybe it’s not all the hormones
Thank you everyone, for all the warm wishes. How lovely to know that people out in cyber space care. Awww, group hug!
I wasn’t going to share the news until I was further along but I’m so crap at keeping secrets and knew that I wouldn’t be able to not mention how ill and tired I’m feeling so the cat’s out of the bag. I’m just surprised that I lasted two weeks with keeping the secret. Last time I think it was two days.
Siobhan, I’m so glad to know that it’s not just the hormones flooding my body that made me cry at that advert. It’s freakin’ sad, isn’t it?
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Go for September 13th – that is Declan’s birthday. It rocks.
Good job! You’ve made TNC a sibling! Fine work, my friend!
I am told reflexology is great for AFDS (all f**king day sickness) but didn’t try it, myself.
Cheers
BC
Congratulations!! Terrific news!
Yay, what happy, happy news to come across today – I’m smiling ear to ear. And even though I am not pregnant, I am joining you in tears…its’ the first day of my period, my co-workers have thrown me the sappiest going away party, and my sister in law called to tell me she bought me a coffee pot for my new apartment. I’ve been crying for two hours!
Oh, I cannot wait to hear about this latest adventure. How do you think TNC will adjust??
Hilarious image!
I’m happy you are pregnant.
I remember keeling over cleaning the bathtub when I was pregnant with my first child. Arms flailing trying to catch myself–there was nothing I could do. Indignities are par for the course. At least you were in the privacy of your own home and not vomiting out the side of the car…