The greed that stole Christmas
NS December 18th, 2007
One week until Christmas and I am broke. Brokeity broke broke. Yesterday I was forced to dig into the money I was saving for a long weekend in Germany this summer, where TNH and I met. The flight and hotel package was supposed to be our gift to each other. Now it looks like it won’t happen because we’ve had to spend it on Christmas for everyone else and all of the food, drink, going out and gifts that encompass the season. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved seeing friends and family and have had a lovely time catching up with everyone. My sister is visiting for two weeks and I am absolutely thrilled to have her here. I love meeting up with friends and going for meals or drinks. But the fact is, I shouldn’t be doing it. I can’t afford it.
I know that no one forced us to spend this money and that we should have budgeted better so that we didn’t have to dip into our vacation fund, but Christmas spirals out of control every year and leaves us screwed for at least two months while we try to recover. We simply don’t have the extra money to spend. We live on one salary and are barely making it as it is. But to stay at home and not participate in the holiday just like everyone else is too depressing to bear, at least for TNH. The thought of not going out to the pub with friends or for the big Christmas restaurant meal our group does every year, of not exchanging gifts with anyone — it would be the lowest depths of despair for him. I’m not as bothered but it would drive him mad and therefore me as well. I’d never hear the end of the moaning about how our lives suck and we’re poor and woe is us. I’d almost rather be in financial ruin than listen to the complaints every day for two months.
It makes me question why we even perform these pointless rituals and leaves me saddened at how materialistic it has all gotten. I would love to give people used or handmade gifts but feel like a cheapskate when I hand over a used book and a handmade card and get handed a brand new shiny thing in return. Next year, I’d like to declare a moratorium on gift-giving or demand that everyone either make the gifts or find them secondhand. But I know I can’t do that because it’s rude and makes a big deal about money and sets parameters about gift-giving which is tacky in many people’s minds. Etiquette dictates that we don’t mention money or how much things cost. But that silence may be the very reason why Christmas has turned into Consumerism Day — everyone thinks that everyone else can afford it and are doing just fine when, in fact, nearly everyone is just as screwed as each other.
After I withdrew my vacation funds and said goodbye to the long weekend in Germany that was meant to commemorate a decade of happiness and love with my husband, I trawled the charity shops for scarves, hats and gloves. I managed to get three of each item, all in excellent condition, for under £10. Ten bloody quid on nine items. Today, I will go to the 99p store (same concept as a dollar store) and buy the same amount of toiletries and then go to the store and buy a big handful or chocolate bars at 50p each. All together, I will spend about £25 on ten gifts for people I’ve never even met. The sad part is that there is no doubt in my mind that the homeless men and women who receive these gifts will appreciate it and won’t be looking at the tags wondering if it’s used and be appalled and judgmental when they see that it is. That’s because we expect people with nothing to be happy with anything they receive. And so I suppose the opposite applies as well — those with everything are never happy with nothing. Is that what Christmas is really supposed to be about?
When I mentioned to TNH that I might want to forgo gift-giving next year and severely curtail the social engagements, he reminded me that our families love giving us gifts and that especially with The Noble Child around, there is no way we can tell people not to give us, or at least her, anything at all. Even when people are understanding about adults not wanting to exchange gifts, they always say “It’s just about the kids, really. The kids will still have gifts, of course.” But I still don’t see the logic. Why should children grow up learning to be spoiled and to expect a ton of gifts on certain calendar days? I understand that adults like to show their affection for children in their lives by getting them things that bring them joy, but why for only one day of the year? Personally, I think it would be a better lesson and a much nicer sentiment if there were little things over the course of the year instead of a cascade at the end.
I know I can’t change centuries of tradition and order and I don’t want to alter the holiday to where it’s no longer recognizable –I’m not a total Scrooge; there are things I love about the season — but something has to change. Christmas is spinning out of control and until it gets back on its axis, I want to get off.
