Rodney Dangerfield was right
NS October 29th, 2007
Ugh. I walked by our local library today and noticed that over the weekend some person (or, undoubtedly, persons) had set fire to a nearby recycling bin and pushed it up against the library parking lot’s ticket machine, melting it down to almost nothing. Two weeks ago they had to get a new sign because some vandals spray painted obscene words in large green letters on the original one. Last week, as I was cutting through the parking lot on my way back from the shops, I saw a group of 8-10 year-old kids standing outside smoking cigarettes, kicking the door and throwing litter around. Thankfully, just as I was walking by, two cops showed up and started making their way towards them so I can only hope that they were run out of there quickly.
It’s just so sad though, that kids as young as that think they are being ‘cool’ by ruining public property and scaring people off by being offensive and intimidating. I know that a certain amount of bad behaviour is to be expected but not at this level, this magnitude and at such a young age. Where’s the respect? It really fires me up, not only to see these kids being so horrible but to know that they are doing it for attention they obviously never get at home. It’s such an odd combination of anger, disgust, pity, sadness and hopelessness and I don’t know what I can do to help them or help the problem. I suppose all I can do is raise my daughter to treat people and things with the respect they deserve and hope that she goes out into the world with a strong sense of right and wrong that will guide her in her actions and how she influences the world around her.
I wonder what the parents of these kids wish for at night.
- Parenting 101 , Public Service Announcements
- Comments(10)
*sigh! Its sad indeed. I fear for the future of those kids.
Am, I gotsta disagree; you had me up to the last line. I think parents can wish a lot of things, but you don’t have control over them the way you do with Noble Child right now, especially when they reach that age. You can raise with her just the way you want, but you aren’t raising her in a vacuum (thank God). All kinds of factors make us US, not just what our parents do. Hell, my mom did the best she could, all things considered, and I still went off the deep end for a few years. I think you know all of this; maybe it’s just the last line that really got to me. I bet some of them don’t know what their kids are doing because the kids LIE to them, and I bet some of these homes are broken, and I bet some of them have the most amazing parents but do dumb shit anyway (e.g., me). You’re right; in the end, all you can do is hope NC never does it, but I think you’d be stupid if you think you can prevent it. Come on, NS, we’re walking billboards for stubbornness.
It’s going to get REAL bad before it gets better. I say this as someone who is known to see the glass half full — sigh.
Omigod, I’m turning into one of *those* commenters, but what does it mean, “it’s going to get real bad before it gets better”? What is ‘better’? Is ‘better’ that the POLICE play a bigger role? I think not. The police are part of the problem. They are a symptom of a growing cancer cultivated by Bush, as far as I’m concerned (like those wingnuts who call the Other ‘Islamofascists’). I don’t want the police around my kids, honestly. Perhaps the London version is kinder (though I know bits of history, and that’s wishful thinking). NS lives in a CITY, one of the best, most beautiful, most cosmopolitan cities on the PLANET. I love London, in part because it’s avoided becoming Giuliani’s version of New York, and it’s had a far longer experience with ‘terrorism’. It’s a bloody mess, and that’s way better than today’s Times Square, any day of the week. I would much rather raise my kid in London, or Damascus, than in New York. Gah, I am overstaying my welcome here. I just wanted to point out that I want to talk to my old college roommate about her last sentence, though I wish it could be in person, because from where I sit, the judgment sounds slightly unwarranted.
Discuss.
The last sentence wasn’t an automatic judgment on the parents. I realise that not all kids who act like this have shitty parents. I’m sure many of them either have no idea what their kid is up to or feel powerless to stop it. By wondering what they think of last thing at night, I was trying to empathise with them. Even the ‘bad’ parents must have thoughts of ‘should haves’ and ‘could haves’ run through their heads at night and I feel sorry for them, for ALL parents who are trying to raise kids in this f’ed up society.
*delurking*
About 7 years ago i had exactly the same frustration. I still feel like that but i was lucky enough to be able to put myself in a position to at least try to address it. I trained and became a high school teacher, now as head of year I really do get to have some influence in this behaviour. It really does have a lot to do with how you were raised, or not as the case may be, no, youre not going to be experiencing this behaviour from NC yet, however you are setting the scene for when shes older. Yes, she is going to behave differently with friends than you would wish for, however if the ground work is there, she is less likely to choose those friends, or, be in the situation, like i cant see she would be allowed to hang around parks etc at any time of the day, if she has something to do thats fun in the school holidays or evening why would she need to be hanging around. Now I sounds like one of *those* posters! sorry
Hell, my mom did the best she could, all things considered, and I still went off the deep end for a few years.
Yes, I think we all do to a certain extent but when most of us go through our ‘teenage rebellion’ it only affects us and our own families, not strangers passing by and public property. I could’ve quit my job, been shooting up heroin and living with a pimp but there’s something so innate in my sense of right and wrong that I can’t imagine ever terrorising people trying to enter a library with small children, or burn and spray paint property. I can fuck up my own life all I want but I have no right to inflict my ‘rebellion’ or ‘pain’ on anyone else.
Nikki, thanks for delurking, it’s always interesting to get another perspective, especially from a teacher of kids this age. I commend you for choosing to try to understand and help the problem rather than being like me, moaning from the sidelines.
lol, youre not moaning from the sidelines, you are doing something about it! Youre raising your daughter to know right from wrong, at least giving her the knowledge, youd be surprised just how much that doesnt happen.
The people that moan about it from the sidelines are those that complain about it but claim theres no point in doing anything about it because its the way the world is now, that we need to accept it, its not like it was in my day etc etc I just wish parents would say “No” to kids more, and mean it, i swear that would cut down significantly on the amount of antisocial behaviour. just imho.
i think the truth lies (as always) somewhere in the middle.
yes, upbringing has a lot to do with it – and so does normal rebellion and peer influence.
my theory (from watching a few brothers go temporarily off the rails) is that everyone has a period of *mostly harmless* rebellion. yeah, graffiti and vandalism isn’t nice, but it’s less destructive than say, torturing small animals.
for most of these kids, that’ll be the worst they ever do – because luckily, regardless of good or bad upbringing, most people turn out to be normal, well-adjusted adults. and for most kids from decent upbringings, this is as far as they’ll stray into lawlessness.
unfortunately that can not be said for all kids – and it’s THOSE kids where the poor family background is the most harmful, and has the most deleterious effect. and who’s to know how they would have otherwise turned out?
Andrea! OUCH! I posted my response not towards NS or the way she’s personally raising her child. Where did you see I was judging? I’m confused.
By the way, I’m from NYC. I don’t understand the dissing. I never said that NYC was utopia and I hate the way it’s turned out in parts too. I have, and have friends who have had their fare share of run-ins with corrupt police officers. You’re talking about an organization who could only get respect when some buildings fell down. That’s not really much to be proud of, no? But there’s more to the city than Times Square and no resident goes near that place anyway. Have you perhaps been to East New York (Brooklyn)? Ocean Hill? South Bronx? Not all of NYC has been Disneyfied and we have one of the widest economic gaps in the US. There is almost zero middle-class. Gangs are up in the tens of thousands. I could go on and on, but many out there only want to talk about Times Square and the loss of soul.
Out of all this, I can still get respect. I live across the street from one of the worst high schools in the city and in the ten years I have lived here, I have never had a run in with the many boisterous teens who stand around blocking the sidewalks and contemplating skipping school. I think there’s something to be said about that. I recall one of NS’s excellent posts (Bring Back the Blitz) where my jaw simply dropped at some of the things she witnessed, especially against an elderly gentleman. There is definitely something amiss with some segments of youth today.
My point was that like anything, it’s cyclic. My only hope is that society as a whole sees the chaos that is happening and how much things lately have gone from innocent teenage hijinks to absolute disrespect. Unfortunately, these changes only happen when enough people say “enough”. I don’t think it’s about the police, the city/town it’s occurring in or how bad or good their terrorism record is, and I’ve met people from all economic spectrums with excellent manners so it’s not so much about rich or poor. It’s about realizing your contributions to society and taking responsibility. I’m afraid that won’t happen until things get much worse.