Dear Damien
NS October 18th, 2007
Today, sitting in a bouncy castle with the Noble Child at a playgroup we go to once a week, I spotted a boy, probably around four years old, wearing a t-shirt that said “Boys are better than girls.” I thought it was so tacky and so sexist, I couldn’t help but keep my eyes on him for awhile, waiting to see which smug soccer mom he wandered over to when he would inevitably fall over and bang his head or knee (I swear it wasn’t me!). I noticed as I watched the kid that he was pretty hyper and aggressive, pushing other kids off of slides and yanking their toys away. A real charmer, the kind that makes you think for just one split second that spanking is overdue a comeback.
His mother was oblivious to the mayhem her son was causing, making other kids cry left and right and forcing every parent there to keep an extra close eye on their kids lest this brat beast made his way towards their own offspring. At one point, he tried to haul this other kid out of a play car and was smacking him in the head while pulling on his shirt. The mother of the child being assaulted tried to separate them and had her glasses knocked off her face as thanks for her efforts. Appalled, she retreated and glanced around the room for the devil spawn’s mother but no one was fessing up to being his handler. Next thing she knows, the kid walks up to her friend who is holding a very small baby in her arms, and whacks the baby on the head with a toy. The baby starts screaming, the baby’s mother starts crying and the kid just runs around sticking his tongue out.
Finally, the commotion aroused the Brat Beast’s mother out of her conversation on the other side of the room (with her back to the play area, naturally) and scurrying over to grab him and make a weak apology. She marched him back over to her seat and forced him to sit down by her feet, and then….gave him a cookie and went back to her conversation. That kid wolfed down the cookie and was back on his feet in ten seconds flat and the woman just ignored him completely. You could see everyone else’s eyes locking, eyebrows raising and lots of grumbling going on. It is parents like this woman who give the rest of us a bad name for taking children out in public. Because of people like her, I can’t take my kid to a restaurant that doesn’t have paper placemats and crayons without being given the hairy eyeball. Bitch.
Not five minutes later, someone can running in and said “He’s opened the gate and they’re getting out!” Mothers were scrambling to get to the gated outdoor area just off the room and wrangle children who had escaped and were heading towards the nearby park. The ringleader of this charade was, of course, Brat Beast.
At that point I decided we’d had enough and went to leave. While I was gathering our things and putting my daughter’s jacket on her, the Beast sidled up to me. I looked down at his head and had to stop myself from parting his hair to look for the 666 that was surely emblazoned on his skull. He touched my leg and smiled up at me and for a minute, I melted a little. I smiled back and felt badly for judging him so quickly. I said “Hey there, little guy.” His angelic smile turned to a sneer and he replied with the oh-so-endearing “Whatever, GIRL.” I pointed at his t-shirt and said “Wanna bet, punk?” His four year old brain didn’t register what I’d said, thank goodness, so I made my getaway before he could go ask his mother what ‘punk’ meant.
I’m so getting the Noble Child a pair of steel-toed Docs when she starts school.
- Antics of The Noble Child , Human Oddities , Parenting 101
- Comments(14)
good lord. what a demon child. sounds like he is the spawn of satan himself.
Oh dear. I felt my hand becoming increasingly itchy to deliver a firm slap as I read this. Of course he’s doing everything in his power to get his mother’s attention. She is the kind of woman of whom I’ve just written: mobile glued to the ear at the playground, ignoring her child. She will live to regret it.
Heheh, my white trash cousin just had a kid and named him Damion. Seriously. I hold out little hope.
Unbelievable!! (but not really)
I love your descriptive writing!
Holy crap! That little beast actually hit a baby on the head?!? If some little boy-brat hit my baby girl on
the head I’d probably take the toy out of his hand and smack his mother *snort* upside the head!
Stacey, does your white trash cousin also have a kid named after any alcoholic beverages? That would be extra classy.
I would have beat the crap out of him.
Nope, this is her first kid, although I anticipate a possible forthcoming daughter named Bacardi.
The thing is — take note — that she MENTIONED Damion as a name, and her mother/my aunt lost her frickin’ mind. And probably because she lobbied so hard against it, my cousin got stubborn.
I am so tempted to send the DVD as a present.
You might want to consider the kevlar kid’s clothes that are coming out of Japan… to go along with those steel toe boots.
Agggh. It get’s me so mad because you know he is behaving like a beast because of poor parenting and probably a diet full of sugar.
I went to see Ratatoille this weekend and there were two little three or four year old twin girls (just because a film is a cartoon means it is appropriate for all little ones, but that is another story.) They were both sick with colds and one little girl sat up kneeling on her chair, leaning on the seat back in front of her and kept coughing on the back of the head of the woman in front of her. The mum didn’t do anything until halfway through when the kids were too bored and restless and she finally left.
I was just going to say… the biscuit! But Nicole got there first! I feel downright angry on your behalf, here!
Seriously though, speaking as somebody who was a truly vile kid, hyper active (I think they call it adhd now) and a complete looner – tantrums, bashing own head on floor the works – and who grew up in a family of teachers I would immediately assume there are problems at home. Not because of the child’s behaviour per-se but because the mother clearly regards it as normal. Just thinking of my poor mother who was a prisoner in her own home for about 3 years because she understood that my behaviour was completely antisocial and was too embarrassed to take me anywhere.
What’s more, can you believe the woman has so little spine (or brain, or self respect… or possibly all three) that she is prepared to allow her son out in that kind of t-shirt when he is already a little thug! Gender stereotyping sucks at any level and any gender!
Just think, that must mean the men in her house sit around at home going on about how superior they are to the women and she must just sit there and agree! Aaargh! It smacks of projection – in this case, the father’s worries about his sexuality manifesting themselves through the T shirt! He’s probably one of these blokes who’s psychotically macho because deep down, he’s worried he’s gay… I don’t want my son to be gay because I’m scared I might be so if I make him wear this crap t shirt he’ll grow up knowing he’s a MAN (wrong he’ll grow up fucked up….).
Kind of makes you wonder what the father is like… or if he’s there, no? People are nearly always fucked up for a reason, even when they’re kids.
Oh dear, the imagination’s really gone into overdrive now! I have an image of the father being one of those blokes who overcompensates for his feared gayness by being psychotically macho, I can see him now with Dave tattoed backwards across his forehead enjoying the popular Saturday night hobby of glassing people who have “spilled his pint” in the pub…. arriving home, stitched back together, on Sunday morning and saying “shaaaat it” when dumb trophy wife asks where he’s been.
Actually, except for the bit about people being fucked up for a reason this is all lies but hopefully, it’ll give you something to chuckle to yourself about next time you see the little bleeder.
Cheers
BC
Sorry, that was a very long comment….
I hate to sound like I am defending the brat, but really. You didn’t mention how old he might be but I am guessing 5? 6?
Going on that assumption (and if I am wrong you can completely ignore me
) he obviously hasn’t learned to control him own emotions. He also is being completely ignored by his mother so he gets his attention from anyone, in any form he can. How sad.
Give that kid a little love, positive attention, and focus and I bet he would be charming after awhile. So while his behavior is terrible perhaps calling him the boy and calling his Mom names would be better served.
These kind of kids grow up, after being called a trouble-maker for years, and they live up to the name after awhile. And all the time it’s usually much more the fault of his home life.
Oh, I agree Moxie Mom. The poor kid is just a product of being ignored by his self-absorbed mother. But you’ll have to excuse the name calling, it’s just how I write. It’s tongue in cheek.