NS November 10th, 2006

as the English room in which is set
the throne, the basin, and the tub
Mould all around the room I scrub

From this, the damp, o cursed thee
’tis this, not drink, the English disease
Double glazed and waterproofed
even with an ironclad roof

It matters not, the damp prevails
causing my poor health to ail
And then the cold, o wretched chill
is this what drives good men to kill?

For lads ’tis fine, their visit brief
but ladies shiver w’ chilly cheeks
Semi-clad and frozen through
such is a visit to an English loo

• Britishisms
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